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“I grab this mic, I spike it to the ground. The lightning’s bad but at least its not loud”
THE NEUS SUBJEX #68
June & July, July 2006

(.2) with Mang, The Cincinnati Suds, Viva La Foxx, Desdemona Festival Coverage, Muddy Rivers, 24 Hour Flu, Clause 83, GD Mills, Def Leppard, Grandma’s Boy, Trudell, RAM Coverage, More John Haywood, Night Dude’s, Apollo Up!, Sinks of Gandy, Crimewave, Hats Off, By products of America, Gazelles Reunion?, The Libertines, Alleys, Adam Wesley is Misunderstood (again), Buffalo Killers, Dead Flowers, The Hypochondriacs, and more Dead French Prophets  than you can wave a ‘Dont Tread on Me Flag’ at...


(.1) with
1000 Arms . Meow MotherFucker . Rumble Records. John Haywood Blue Velvet . Toys That Kill . Grizzly Man. Minor Disturbance . Wussy . My Latex Brain . David Turbow. Wolfgang Bang . 12 X100 . Stealth Bovine Walk. Mall of the Dead plus LESS THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE

"Talking Chaotic Boredom"

 


(.2) N E W S ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Awoogah! Awoogah! New Band Alert! New Band Alert!
Rich Wasson of 16 PIECE BUCKET announced that his new band is called CLAUSE 83 and features himself on guitar and vocals, Ralph Parker on drums and Andy Leahey on bass. They are out there playing shows, which musicians call "gigs", around the greater Eight valleys area. Check them out.

 Clause 83 

24 Hour Flu CD Release...
Joe Thompson from HILLTOP DISTILLERY and 24 HOUR FLU contacted the NSX to say that 24 Hour Flu will have a CD release show on Friday, September 15th at Newport's SOUTHGATE HOUSE... that is if the Bird Flu don't get us first... Might not be a lot of people there, because they will be DEAD and piled in mass graves for burning in desperate hopes to stop a pandemic!!!  With a band name having ANYTHING to do with a flu, I would tread lightly.  

 24 Hour Flu

Buffalo Killers News
It’s already going out in blanket e-mails as you read this, THE BUFFALO KILLERS will release their debut CD soon... Stay tuned to the NEUS SUBJEX for their CD to be featured in the STORY BEHIND THE SONG feature...

Buffalo Killers

Here Comes GD Mills and his Negative Space!
Greg D. Mills (aka “GD Mills”) recently stopped me before ingesting a Comet Burrito to tell me that he is realizing a one-sided record titled GD MILLS & THE NEGATIVE SPACE. The Entire A side of the record features a recording with him on every instrument on every song, sounding similar to the DECISIONS stuff he did with DATAWASLOST and the entire B-Side will be blank, or “Negative Space” as GD puts it. GD said something about trying to get a “real” band together for a few shows, so maybe we all can look forward to that AND his record. If memory serves me correct, that DECISIONS stuff was fucking amazing, but still not as amazing as his thin, well manicured stash!

GAZELLES! Reforming?
Yeah, someone comes up to me and tells me that the Gazelles are reforming... with members of THE VIRGINS filling in the vacant spots. I have heard firsthand that JJ Lixx, ex-Gazelles Guitar, said he is doing a new project with Ross (Virgins Guitar) but not in any way, shape or form is it a rebirth of Gazelles! If it is, and those guys let it out of the bag, and I had to hear this from the source I have, then I will STOP doing any sorts of news items in the Neus Subjex online edition or otherwise! At this moment, if the case be as it may, and the gazelles are reforming using Virgins members to fill in spots, the Neus Subjex has CEASED to be a reporting element of any kind... Cause the Neus Subjex has been with the Gazelles from the start... and it would be a grand betrayal for them to do such a thing behind my blood slippery back.  

Gazelles defunction page

R.ebel A.gainst M.usic
David Hilshorst, leader of R.EBEL A.GAINST M.USIC (RAM) sent the NSX an e-mail loaded with news concerning his various projects. DAVID WILLIAM CONFIDENTIAL just released a new CD entitled "Vacant Premises" which RAM describes as "Dark, droney, ambient and atmospheric" and goes on to say the disc would do right by those who like "deep listening, harsh or ambient" sounds. This release is available at SHAKE IT RECORDS or contact RAM directly (rebelagainstmusic@hotmail.com). David William Confidential will be teaming up with R (squared) for a number of projects. The first of which is the Hagen and Dismount project, RAM describes this as a "chill out, late night" affair. The two also have a death metal/black metal project in the works and also, possibly, a hip hop project too with all of it to be represented by the RAM label. A new addition to the RAM team is INFOTUBE, a two piece composed of Peter D. Pricks and B.B. Grounde. Who RAM representatives said represent a sound close to that of Throbbing Gristle, Negativland, Swans and Nurse With Wound complete with samples, turntables, effects, vocals, kids toys, keyboards, and more... You can check it out at www.myspace.com/infotubecincy. INFOTUBE have plans to release a CD-R on RAM. 
  More info

 

 Despite just releasing a new CD, a time when many bands would be out and about, MEEOOW MOTHERFUCKER has just entered a self-imposed hiatus due to Henry's constant leg cramps and misplaced razor. Their debut CD is still available at Shake It Records


“I Will Walk (Behind You) In the Line of Fire”
VIVA LA FOXX along with THE CINCINNATI SUDS 06/17/24 @ THE COMET

Viva la Foxx are on it right from the get go. Loud. Brutal. Attacking. It’s how I like my rock and/or roll. Ordered, delivered. I sign the invoice and return it to the shipping and receiving clerk. He looks pissed off that I get all the good assignments and he gets the bad ones. That guy’s a dick anyway. I remember that time he gave me pictures of a car show to look at... for some odd reason. It was picture after picture of old “fix’em up” show-quality automobiles. Different styles. Different Models. Different years of production. I call all old cars 57’ Chevy's to save myself from memorizing all the different ones. People love to correct me when I call a 34’ Ford a 57’ Chevy or whatever, but that’s their deal. When this guy handed me his car pictures, he didn't realize it, but pictures from his attempts to get a decent profile picture for his dating website picture were in there too. I liked the one that showed the most of a Bald Eagle picture on the wall behind him even though he wasn't wearing his cowboy hat in it....

 



I start snapping pictures right away when Viva begins playing. I started the set a lil’ pissed off because any other time I seen VIVA, Amy (Vocals) had a Les Paul strapped on. I kept waiting and waiting for her to grab a guitar but she didn't. I had even asked her something along the lines of... “Hey, better get your guitar ready” but she told me that for certain shows, she doesn't use a guitar. So this sort of pissed me off. I mean, Amy is a great guitarist, as well as vocalist, and to not give her a guitar would be to half-ass things I felt. I said something along those lines to her too but she just got ready to do her thing... You could already hear a bassline in the distance and Rueben (Guitar, Vocals) was whipping his sound up... By time the official set began, I had forgotten all of my misgivings like a goldfish. I took my last breath of human air and dove in.

 



I heard a story from some river folk one time from the Withlachoochie river area in Citrus County Florida. These kind, gracious river folk told a tale of a gigantic alligator, something along the lines of 14 foot long... that lived in the river and surrounding canals that was rather large, and old, and had devoured several house pets. The river folk, became concerned for their young with this gator being on the loose, so despite alligator season being far off, a bunch of them got together one night and set out to rid their community of this newfound nuisance.

Sort of like how Frankenstein was hunted by the surrounding villagers. I imagined how the scene must have looked... With River Folk carrying torches in boats and such... Carrying pitchforks... But that would all just be me picturing everything in my head, because I didn't see the ensuing struggle to capture and kill this alligator. All I had seen was the riverbank where the struggle took place. I had asked what they were building there in that spot that looked as if a bulldozer had cleared trees and shrubs, you know, all the usual stuff that borders a river in the subtropics, and that's when I was told the tale of this alligator. Because the clearing that I inquired about was the area where the river folk had captured this alligator... then killed him. His dead body was taken away and all that was left, was this destroyed area. I gave this alligator several minutes worth of thought. The battle must have been amazing to watch... He had the power of a bulldozer.

This is what Viva la Foxx’s sound reminded me of. This story. I went crazy snapping pictures during their set, and all the time, imagined that I was taking snaps of this alligator putting up the fight of his life.

 



Rueben, with his guitar would be the tail of the beast. Whipping around ferociously. Back and forth. The tail of the alligator not only helps it maneuver, but can whip around prey to its mouth. This is Rueben.

Danielle (Bass, Vocals) is the scariest part of the band. Brutal from the start, her bass lines are vicious and dangerous . The alligators massive jaws and fangs are her bass lines. They will tear and rip you apart if you get to close.

Don't let the short legs of the gator fool you. They represent maybe the most underestimated part of the gator, allowing it quick (but short) bursts of speed putting it into striking distance without a moments notice when on land. A new edition to the band, Billy (Drums) can be represented by this pounding unknown dangerous element to Viva la Foxx. He plays hard. He hits hard. Several times during their set, brave souls would try to restrain the drum set from moving away from him. The drum set was trying to escape! Nothing worked, the drum set feared Billy and tried its escape for the entire set.

Amy is the brain of the gator. Its command. Pure instinct itself. Using all of the separate parts of the gator in their most efficient ways, to hunt, capture and kill. When a gator grabs a hold of its prey, it will drag it down into the water. Take a bite and twist, to tear a bit off for itself. The technique of the alligator is Amy. Reaching out, attacking. People veer away, as they should!

The set was pure magic. But you have eyes, look at the pictures. See the power of the living bulldozer that is the end result of a hunt for Viva la Foxx.

Before moving on, I must say a few words for their new CD. Rueben shared one with the NSX, so please consider what you have read, and these next couple of lines, a review for the release...

Much like their live show, this CD is brutal, loud and dangerous. I see a tad bit of LED ZEPPELIN and YYY’s in there... It's short, just shy of 25 minutes, but well worth it. One song is a cover from TEDDY AND THE FRAT GIRLS “Clubnite” as I had reported in past issues of the NSX. Excellent production, everything sound's awesome. Everything has never sounded better. The ‘hit’ is one of the last tracks, a tune called “Doctor” which does the trick and has a nice bleed into the cover... A middle one is also my fav, “Leftovers.” It has a tremendously flagitious riff that gives me belief that I can walk through solid matter. I am really impressed with this CD, except the usual gripes of overall length are still in effect. I can't help that selfish side of me... Always wanting more of a good thing.

Viva La Fox  Shake It Records

 

 

 

 

 




THE CINCINNATI SUDS took The Comet's “stage” area secondly. They ushered in their experience with a band-wide toast of cheap bourbon that stings the back of your throat, like you just swallowed a piece of charcoal right from the fire. “THE” fire. The fire of LIFE. That taste is the sour taste of cheap bourbon. That’s also what disappointment taste like. Its also the taste of satisfaction. Only a lit cigarette or a sweaty brow can decide which is which.

I was born on the tail end of ’Nam but that doesn't mean I don't understand desperate measures. I make no attempt at trying to say anything in my life even closely resembles that war, but I get the feeling that the night the Suds hit the Comet, when I was watching them toast each other and a close ally of the band, a certain Patrick Jody (young brother of Andrew Jody, bass and Vocals of Suds), I was seeing a recreation of a Marine forward Recon unit’s traditional drink before boarding the choppers back to the bush. 1 Adam 12 (Vocals, Guitar and Point man) told me earlier that where he lives in Louisville, this certain restaurant that he calls his employer has made him a manager and now he is getting karma type pay backs for the way he treated Big Jack (Dixie Trash) when Jack was his boss man. But a quick mention of fulfilled prophecy and the arrival of a certain Mark Zero arriving to the Comet ON SKATEBOARD (yes, SKATEBOARD) knocked us all for a loop. Especially Tim Ebben (Guitarist) who quickly ran to the phone to call Channel 12 who dispatched Emily Longnecker to get the scoop. 1 Adam 12 was wearing a Reds baseball hat. He is the eternal fan. Through thick and then... He also said that he has began saving up for a playoff game ticket. He prophesied and said La Rue’s days as a Red are numbered, and this I believe because I can see how he believes in me. That reciprocating belief in each other is something that men don't share enough with each other. Go right now, leave your computer and tell someone special that you believe in them... then come back and read more... that's not an order, because I am not the ordering type, that is a request my friend.

For a band that isn't really a band again until a few days, or even hours before their next show, The Cincinnati Suds are fucking amazing. Like a good Flamin’ Groovies record... Rockin, and rollin’, and rockin’ some more. Plus, the band is a true collection of all-stars. Tim Ebben, from The Hypochondriacs trades off solo’s with 1 Adam 12. They point to each other and graciously allow each to take the point. Tim is known for many things but his simile is proly the last thing you would expect to hear from me. Tim has a nice smile. Tommy Tombstone, “The Kid” is the youngest and newest addition to the band. He plays keys and something called the “spacebox” ask Tommy and he will tell you that his youngest brother is a genius, but if you ask me there is something about his whole family that makes them ALL geniuses. Tommy is always there with a kind word. I admire him. Tommy's brother, Tim, was a longtime member of WACO A GO GO and remains active in numerous bands like THE GNASDELLS and NEW PENTECOSTAL GIGOLOS where Tommy is also member. I mentioned the Incredible Andrew Jody before, but this  guy is truly the spirit of the Cincinnati music scene. He has been in more bands than he has fingers and toes and has given each of them 110%. He plays bass in The Suds, and this is odd for him because its the only band he has been in that he isn't behind a drum set. I know firsthand, from one of his past bands, that Andy is so fucking talented that he deserves a career in the music industry if anyone does. He can do anything. Guitar, drums, bass... He even sings in The Suds! Andy is the total utility player. Ready to pick up any weapon in any fire fight and get to business. Last but not least in this unit, is the Third Templar of LASTING, Sean Morrissey. If Andy is the Spirit of the Cincinnati scene, then let Sean be its blood. Halfway to ninety (plus a couple) Sean plays drums and there is NOTHING that he hasn't seen with his own eyes or done with his own hands. He is the veteran of the unit. The noncommissioned officer Sergeant that holds it all together. Sometimes, when he is playing drums, it looks as if he is crying... or maybe like he is in pain... either way, I would like to think that IF there are tears, they are tears of appreciation, admiration and thanks... Sean sings a few ditty's throughout the night and his voice is amazingly good... A real classic country sound that adds depth to the band. His voice can bring a tear to your eye. He sings what he means. He is that sort of guy... and last but never least... 1 Adam 12, the point man of the group. He is a natural leader. Charismatic. Funny. The sort of guy who expects nothing out of anything, Just thankful to get a moment of shine with fellow man. He claims that he is a red head but looks blond to me. He makes sure he is the last guy on the chopper, so he is the first to hit ground and get shit going. He wears his Fender high above others' sling-spots. At a moments notice, he erupts into spasm of movement collapsing to the floor in a held note that he loops all together for a grand solo. I am snapping a pic every 30 seconds during the Suds' set because I’m seeing some good shots. I’m seeing the real deal. I’m hearing the real thing. Songs of desperation, despair, flood waters, heartbreak, fear, freewheeling, taintless and tenderness, anger and absent mindedness. Watching the Cincinnati Suds is like drinking a 12 pack. The more you listen, the more you don't realize that you have been drawn in for the long haul. Those cold beers are tasting better and better. In fact, you don't even know if the beers are in fact cold. You no longer can tell.

The Cincinnati Suds are quite honestly one of the best rock and roll band I will ever see in my entire life. This I know for a fact my friend. Their songs both make me want to cry on demand, and smoke a cigarette even though I have never smoked. I want to drink until I cant remember who I am. I want to never sleep again when I hear one of Adam's solos. I want to levitate and listening to the Cincinnati Suds, I swear, I can if I can just try hard enough. If I just drink enough... The Cincinnati Suds are about possibilities. Just listen to what is just underneath the top. That's where you have to be. And Listen to Adam, and buy him a beer. He deserves it the same way Patton deserved to be understood about his past lives.

The Cincinnati Suds

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“This Muddy River Loves, Respects and Takes Care of Us!” 

DESDEMONA FESTIVAL June 23,24,25th @ Sawyer Point Park (Cincinnati, Ohio)


Day 1 “That Muddy, Deadly River!”
Internet advertisements advertise that a three day pass gets you over 21 hours of amazing performances which turns out to be just 80 cents per band! I don't think that they take in account that some of these bands' inflated rock-star egos, that takes them past their designated time slot... but predicting what musicians will do on stage is an unknown technology and very unprecise... Worse than predicting new species in dark, humid depths of communities named from regions of the German confederacy.... None the less, NSX personnel meet upriver at 9AM in the parking lot of Oswald Industries, a French importer of wine to the tri-state area, who agreed to donate skid’s for NSX personnel to make a raft that we could float down the Mighty Ohio river and land on the banks of Sawyer Point Park... That was the first part of the plan. Evading admission fees, no matter what kind of deal! Were going IN... UNDER the wire! From there, we would set up a base camp, organize our supplies of cheap beer and all the ‘send back’ French wine (also donated from Oswald Industries) and then commence to rocking out. We spent the previous evening making our raft. With the we being myself, The Brightone, David Fishwick and an employee of Oswald industries named Pierre. We named the raft “DISCOVERY IV” in honor of the boat from the movie, INCIDENT AT LOCH NESS, which looking back now in hindsight, was a terrible idea, but none-the-less, followed though with. I, Shawn Abnoxious, was the over-all expedition coordinator. David Fishwick was named raft Captain because 1) He knew the difference between a raft and a boat and 2) His last name had something to do with water (‘FISH’ of ‘Fishwick’). The Brightone was in charge of supplies, our trusted quartermaster. Pierre was in charge of establishing and maintaining all aspects of our base camp which he said would be dubbed “Camp Somewhere.” Pierre had spent time in the first Gulf War in a French artillery unit for the French Army there until he was overheard by allied commanders talking about a battleplan (that came to him in a dream one night) to some fellows in his unit. One thing led to another and after a meeting with the joint General’s staff, his ‘Dream Plan’ turned out to be the final battle plan for all allied forces in that war. So, he is some sort of strategic genius that turned down this latest gulf-effort so he could work as a laborer for Oswald Industries. We loaded up the raft and were en route by 10 AM. By 11 AM, Pierre and all our provisions were missing after some White-Hat jock jackass on a jet ski came up close to check us out and wasn't paying attention to what he was doing and rammed us. Pierre went overboard. The River claimed him. Moments before  we launched DISCOVERY IV, Pierre had given me an envelope to hold on to just in cast anything happened. As SOON as it happened. I thought he was nuts. I wanted to turn back immediately, but I remembered his note, and after David and I fished the Brightone back out of the water after he dove in trying to locate Pierre, I opened the note. It told me to call the Coast Guard with my phone and report him missing (which I did, but my first three attempts got the Coast Guard Recruiting office)... Then to keep going and finish the expedition. His letter also talked about how he knew this was going to happen, and it was destiny. So, David, Brightone and I did exactly as Pierre asked, we continued onward! By 2 PM our deteriorating raft washed up on the shore of Sawyer Point Park. According to intelligence reports, provided by, and using the French intelligence connections Pierre had established prior to the mission’s launching, we were well within the fenced-off borders of the event and hadn't paid a cent!

Pierre was lost. Our supplies were gone including our sleeping gear (tens, sleeping bags, etc.) Our raft had seen better forms as forklift skids at Oswald Industries. The Discovery IV wouldn't make the Day Three night jaunt from our established base camp to the Argosy Casino in Lawrenceburg as planned in its current shape... We would have to spend time rummaging material for repairing the raft, taking time from band viewing. That is, if we decided to push onward with the original plan... We seriously considered scratching the expedition and calling my Mom to come pick us all up and take us to White Castle and get us some grease cubes with fried sides, when all of a sudden we were greeted by a small group of partially naked, spear wielding hermits that at first appeared to be frequent shoppers of various downtown businesses, but upon closer inspection found them to be reclusive members of a secret society. The leader of the small group, who  proclaimed himself the “Leader Some-Bitch” referred to himself and his companions as “The Pointless Ones”, a group of about 20 or so “outside society misfits” that lives in the heavily wooded banks of the Mighty Ohio River’s Sawyer Point Park. The Leader Some-Bitch said two days prior a man with a French accent approached him and handed him a letter that told of the arrival of David, Brightone and I on the very spot we were standing. That Pierre! Pierre even told the leader Some-Bitch that nearby the spot, 30 paces to the East, three pornographic magazines would be found discarded. Brightone saw these and recovered them. He placed them in his mission bag, next to his sun block. The Leader Some-Bitch said that in this letter, he was to meet us, and provide fresh matches from which we could start a campfire and assist in repairing our raft, the Discovery IV... With the ability to make a fire being the bare necessity of any base camp, and the much needed help getting Discovery IV in working order, our expedition had seen new life! Thanks, of course, to the Leader Some-Bitch and his Pointless Ones. Needless to say, we spent the remainder of the evening, well into the sundown, establishing the tattered remains of what sparse equipment we did have remaining into our base camp. The fire that came about from the matches of the Leader Some-Bitch, was a warm one. We named our camp, “Camp Pierre” over the original plan of “Camp Somewhere” in honor of our fallen friend. I fell asleep thinking of Pierre and wondering what I would write in the letter to his family.... Something about being brave, and strong. Like the Vietcong.... My last look around base camp, before sleep calmed my troubled eyes, was of David and Brightone looking at the mysterious pornographic magazines that marked our arrival on the shores of Sawyer Point Park to the Pointless Ones and their Leader Some-Bitch.

Day 2 (actual coverage) plus “The Battle of Camp Pierre”

I slept late into the next day. I was awoken by the smell of something cooking over our open fire. David had rustled together an improvised meal of Grass Soup (cooked with river gravel on the bottom for additional flavor) and a side of freshly cut (with a pair of rusty scissors borrowed from a Pointless One) Dandelions. Dave prepared this meal in a deep old hubcap he found near the waters edge right next to Pierre's beret that had washed up on shore sometime in the night. We were quiet while we ate... We spent the remainder of the time until the days festivities began in two separate groups. I went to the waters edge, sat and looked out over the beautiful river that claimed loyal Pierre, while David and Brightone continued their pornographic viewing. How many times can two guys look at the same three magazines?

We ventured out from Camp Pierre, after placing his beret on top of our makeshift flagpole made from a thick tree branch that supported our ‘Don't Tread On me” flag, to catch CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY playing on the main stage. Not only did one of their members have a PIXIES shirt on, but they ended up playing a Pixies cover... Needless to say, they DID NOT cover “La La love You”, opting instead to play “Where is My Mind” which is a good song, no wait, a GREAT song, but also very PREDICTABLE. Mostly this band was a bore. They sounded like they belong on the O.C. Soundtrack. Like I could walk into a HOLLISTER store and see their CD on sale. Teenagers would pick up this CD, glance at it. Read the First and last song titles, and then put it back down because they think the Bitch/Fag behind them is trying to cut. To Captain of Industry, I say GOOD LUCK.

Captain of Industry

APOLLO UP played on a stage under an arch that was the support for the Purple People Bridge, a pedestrian bridge that they now allow you to get dressed up in a flashy uniform, put on a headset and climb all over for a hefty price. the price is a bit more for sunrises and sunsets, so plan accordingly. And it's this, CLIMB THE PURPLE PEOPLE BRIDGE thing that this city is so ranting about while the rest of the artistic community is like “WHAT?” Combine this bridge climb with some American Gladiator style batons. Two teams set out from opposite sides of the bridge and it's fucking winner take all. Then they could at least sell tickets.... Well, Apollo Up were definitely a plus for me personally through the day. Their set was tight and rocking. I enjoyed them very much. About playing in the arch, they thought at first they were playing in a cave... But I pointed out how it was more like a tunnel because it was open at both ends. Apollo Up have a new CD out, it should be reviewed in this update in a later section.

Apollo Up

A band that I have really made an effort to get into is MATES OF STATE but it hasn't happened in listening station encounters at Shake it Records, or finally here, in a LIVE setting. This was their last chance with me and they fucking blew it! Everyone screams about how they are minimal this and minimal that and shit. I rushed to catch them and tried to get into it, but it ended up sounding like really medicated, unfinished Beach Boys songs. Yeah, melodies and harmonizing... I didn't feel it. Also, I seen this really cool looking guy walking around, and asked him to have his picture taken with me. He got all pissy and shit, and said “Why?” to which I responded “Why not?” I totally blame Mates of State too. It's all their fault. This pissy snob needed to smoke a J and fucking chill out. I didn't really see what the big deal was... So naturally, since Mates of State were playing, I blame them!

Our expedition split up in three parts. David went to check out FORGET CASSETTES (look at the pictures he took) and Brightone followed him there at first, but left a bit into it to take random crowd photos. The whole deal with the pissy guy got him riled up! I contemplated seeing Forget Cassettes, but I got to Mulling it over in my head, and when faced with something I had seen before (Forget Cassettes) and seeing something I had NEVER seen before, well, I went with the unknown. And I was glad I did.

Forget Cassettes

I passed by Camp Pierre along the way to check on things. Everything was still OK. The leader Some-Bitch had issued several workers for our raft, as the letter to Pierre had suggested, and set up three guards to watch our camp. I asked who I thought might have been the leader of the dispatched repair/Guard unit why there was armed protectorates present, and he told me “Just in case THEY came.” I didn't know who ‘THEY’ were, but whatever it was it couldn't have been good. The description didn't really make any sense, Suits... Mechanical pencils... Real vague. Also, concerning the Law of Groups & Gatherings, every group and/or gathering has an ANTI group or gathering to counteract it. THEY must be the eternal enemies of The Pointless Ones. I left the repair dispatch and guard unit to continue its work. I paused briefly to look a the yellow ‘Don't Tread On me” flag, with Pierre's beret. I pulled my cap down close to my eyes, I didn't want the Pointless Ones that were helping us to see me cry.

I got to one of the auxiliary stages where COUSIN was suppose to play early.  I forgot which number the stage was and don't feel like looking it up. For the record, I'm listening to Proletariat while I write this, and I don't feel like doing extra cause it just isn't worth it. I sat there and called preprogrammed Funeral Homes from the contacts list on my cell phone to ask what they had going on. It is a hobby of mine. The Brightone showed up a few moments before Cousin played to regroup and show me some pictures that he had been randomly snapping. It was around this time, as Cousin began their raucous set, that he began taking pictures of photographers taking pictures. It was sort of cool in a way. I was enjoying him doing this. I enjoyed Cousin's three piece rock and soul attack, and even got their CD when they were finished, and the CD is cool, but does not do that band justice! The live sound of Cousin is nothing close to what the CD captured. The lead of Cousin said something about them getting a new CD out soon, I’m interested to say the least, and THAT is saying something.



We all reunited to watch STELLASTARR*. They played a pretty good set. I can say that I even enjoyed listening to live versions of their latest songs from their latest effort, “Harmonies for The Haunted” which is a release that I haven't been able to get into like their debut. David got into them pretty bronze... He talked to band members afterward and relayed some sort of information that the DESDEMONA festival was one of Stellastarr’s few engagements over summer. The last time I saw Stallastarr* at The Southgate House, the singer was complaining about loosing his voice due to having the flu or something, this time he was in top form.  They played a good set, but still, I haven't picked up “Harmonies..” with the vigor that I was hoping for since then.

Stellastar*

After Stellastarr* we all returned to Camp Pierre for a quick snack. The Pointless Ones work crew had finished their raft repairs to a degree that would enable us to finish our planned expedition as originally conceived, but had consumed the remaining portion of Grass Soup. The remaining attachment of Guards, a new shift of four since the ones I encountered earlier, apologized on behalf of the previous repairmen and guards, but David, Brightone and I wouldn't dare let them think that what they did was wrong. The Pointless Ones had helped us beyond any payment of Grass Soup as a meal, and we tried to make them see that, but they still felt embarrassed. I excused myself to catch a quick meal of Feathered Fries (French Fries, with Pigeon Feathers sprinkled on top like cheese) with The Brightone snapping pictures of everything at my side. David remained behind to prepare a meal for the embarrassed Pointless One’s guards of Pepper Soup and Taco Shells with peanut butter. Once again, when faced with the chance to see Enon, a band whose CD I had, but liked only marginally, and seeing ACTRESS, a band I had never seen, I chose Actress! Brightone hung with me. David went to ENON...

Actress/Enon sandwich.

Actress didn't do anything for me. They came off as another OC band. Some tight moments in some of their songs. Good work with delay pedals, I always appreciate a band who knows how to work a delay, but for the most part, Actress was too disco for their own good. I mean, FUCK! I appreciate band like RADIO 4 and all, but Actress were just ANOTHER one of those, rather than being pioneers, they were one of a league that at best, could possibly make it into the Hall of Fame, but would proly just end up getting busted for buying beer for 14 year olds somewhere down the road. There was tight moments, and they had a mannequin on stage with them that was all lit up with their band name across its chest, but the mannequin didn't have any clothes on and its bulge was sort of offensive for this conservative crowd. A bunch of Young Republican looking youths decked out in their power suits started gathering in back... and they began chanting.... and throwing mechanical pencils.... The Brightone and I took off in due time just as they were approaching the stage. If I only made the connection between what the Pointless Ones had told us earlier about their enemies, the THEY, and what was going down at the stage with Actress playing, I would have sent an emergency flare up to get David’s attention and boarded the Discovery IV to get the fuck out of there... But fear not for Actress Neus Subjex readers, I later found out that the band was saved from the attacks of the Young Republicans due to the fact that they had JACKETS on, even in the sweltering summer heat that is Cincinnati’s own!

The Brightone and Myself took the trail of evolution to the same stage under the Purple People Bridge’s arch to reunify with David and catch the tail end of ENON who ended up doing an encore. The Encore sounded pretty cool at least. David didn't have much to say about them. No sooner had we told Dave about the follies at Actress with the dudes in suits, and mechanical pencils, that we ran into what we each would consider SPIES for this group who we now thought were those that the Pointless Ones told us about earlier, the THEY, bitching about how Cincinnati was lame and wanted to know where they could find some Pussy and some Drugs and how they drove down here from new York to watch Enon and how lame Cincinnati was...

Then it was pointed out to them how THEY had actually driven the 800 Miles or whatever it is, to come from New York. New York (the city so nice, they bombed it twice) to see a band play under a pedestrian bridge in Cincinnati, Ohio. And to maybe think about what is actually lame.



FUCKING NARCS.

The three of us were tired, and craving more Feathered Fries (they were a hit) but wanted to catch a bit of ANNIE because everyone and their fucking grandma’s were talking about how good THEY were going to be.... Like it was the second coming of fucking ABBA or something, but it ended up sounding like a Norwegian version of BRITTANY SPEARS. It was comical really, You put on a tape of SLAVE 4 U (a song Spears wrote about enslaving the Human Race, because according to the hot sheets, she is an alien) and everyone is like YUCK! EWW! and THIS IS, LIKE, LAME-O! But you take the same thing and give it a North Carolina accent, and package it in some tight clothes and ay its from fucking Norway and BAM! Everyone's got their fucking mouths open wide waiting for you to put the airplane in the hanger... And if you don't buzz the spoonful of fucking shit around in a loop a bit making airplane engine noises and play with the recipient before you land the final payload, they will be pissed off because they didn't get a show.

We left Annie's air-show for the confides of Camp Pierre. We found our camp ransacked. There had been a battle. Bodies were scattered here and there, both fallen warriors from The Pointless Ones and members of the group that we had seen attacking Actress earlier, members of THEY as we had come to know them... Apparently the force of THEY were beaten back, but at a dear cost. The THEY dead outnumbered the Pointless Ones fallen but to a group numbering in the low twenties, a loss of 8 warriors was detrimental. A battered Pointless Ones warrior did an owl call from a bundle of nearby bushes to get our attention. The surviving Pointless Ones had hidden our raft under some loose brush away from the attention of THEY. The mortally wounded, but still in command Leader Some-bitch told us if we were to survive, we would have to launch immediately for our final destination. THEY had momentarily retreated to regroup and retrieve reinforcements and would be back at any moment to finish off the remaining Pointless Ones and destroy us as well. We did as he said and boarded the raft immediately... The leader Some-Bitch handed The Brightone the beret of Pierre and the DON'T TREAD ON ME flag, David took the rudder of the raft in command... I was still trying to persuade the Leader Some-bitch to escape with us along with as many as would fit onto the raft. He refused. We were no more than 10 feet from the shore when there was a massive attack and the remaining Pointless Ones sprung into action. The Leader Some-Bitch took out three THEY warriors in one fatal swing of his spear, but THEY had the far superior numbers. One THEY broke through the remaining line of The Pointless Ones and tramped into the river to reach us. The Brightone took one of the porno magazines from his mission-bag , rolled it up into a stiff tube, and threw it at the THEY, hitting him squarely in the head, rendering him unconscious. The THEY warrior slipped beneath the rivers surface. By time the last Pointless One had fallen, we were well within the safety of the rivers current for them to catch up. Just before we each lost view, the last thing we seen was THEY ‘s leader, coming forward, drinking a BUD LIGHT, high fiving all of this fellow warriors... and I cant be sure from that distance, but we each thought their leader was the same fellow who rammed our first raft which sent Pierre and our provisions overboard... We drifted and eventually fell asleep. All three of us. Not necessarily a safe thing to do on such a large and dangerous river, but none-the-less, we did.

Day 3 “Mission Acomplished!”

We awoke, mysteriously enough at our destination, as planned. The Argosy Casino Riverboat in Lawrenceburg, Indiana. The raft was largely intact, the Pointless Ones did an excellent job of repairing and altering our craft, as Pierre had seen in his visions that the wrote about in his letters....

Pierre, Sweet, loyal Pierre. Always smiling. Always a pleasure to be around. Him, and the Pointless Ones... Apparently The Brightone had awoken earlier than David and I. He had retrieved large containers of orange Juice and Power-bars for us to share for breakfast. We sat there on the raft that we would soon abandon and talked of our adventure. All we had gained, and all we had lost. When our talk had turned quiet, and all we could hear was the Mighty Ohio River gently lapping against the shore, I stood up and took the beret that had been Pierre's, and threw it with as much force as possible, sending it a flight like a frisbee, with the beret landing about 40 feet from our location. I was  awarded a compliment of “Good Throw” from both David and The Brightone. David and The Brightone had joined my side, standing looking at the beret in the water. The river current had already began to take it on another adventure. Just about that time, we seen four figures on surf boards who were jovial and rather loud. David, Brightone and I were perplexed! Surfboard in the Ohio River? The four figures took turns standing on the boards and attempting to ride the wakes from passing boats, each cheering the attempt of the next. Closer inspection would reveal that these four, would in fact, be the members of CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY. The Brightone and David and I all shook our heads in disbelief.



So, our DESDEMONA adventure turned violent, and short. Steeped in tragedy on many different  levels. But it was fun while the fun lasted and we will never forget the sacrifice of Pierre and The Pointless Ones. One day we plan to honor our fallen comrades from the site that was Camp Pierre... But there is this downtown boycott thing going on... and we wanna be troopers for the cause... So next year, will Desdemona return? Will we build a new raft and repeat the expedition? we haven't talked about it.... But from the whole experience, one question still remains.

What the fuck is a ‘Desdemona’ anyway?
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All Desdemona Photo’s taken by Shawn Abnoxious, The Brightone and/or David Fishwick.
Past/Future information: www.DesdemonaFestival.com


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The Libertines

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My Day of Liberty


BY PRODUCTS OF AMERICA with THE LIBERTINES July 14th @ The Northside Tavern (Cincinnati, Ohio)


I don't really feel as though I should write a bit about this show. I mean, FUCK! Just look at the size of this update! Since the inception of the ONLINE NSX, updates seem to be getting bigger and bigger, much more to talk about these days. If the print edition of the NSX was still around, each issue would be as big as a fucking novel... Each update is pushing somewhere from 10,000-14,000 words. This is about how many words was in a regular issue... Don't forget that these updates are coming about every 2-2.5 weeks... So there's some major coverage going on here. But alas, I must say a few words about this memorable night. A Night where I found solace in the populations of the seedy alleys of Northside. Drinking beer, sweating because its nearly fucking miserable across the Eight Valleys, and just being together. Me, the recluse, the refuse... and some broken glass from an unknown struggle. Home. As always, any appearance of BY PRODUCTS OF AMERICA could be seen as a learning experience. I am just totally blown away by everything they do... Wide eyed, I cant take my ears off of what they do. Everything is PERFECT when they play. I wouldn't change a molecule. I arrived from my comfortable, yet uncomfortable alley just as “Jump Into The Fire” was on. That is my song! My anthem for noticing things I hadn't seen before... of course the crowd was still riled up. That includes me. THE LIBERTINES had just gotten done playing... and despite the kids that had shown up thinking it was the UK Libertines playing the tavern, there wasn't anything funny about the night, despite the fact that everywhere you looked everyone was smiling... The Libertines did a great job in reemerging onto the local scene. They sounded great, even better than any recorded effort. A vicious 2 guitar attack. A dual impressive clean, out there, up front sound. Hitting it where it hurts. Loud, deep bass by Cheek (never sounding better), tight with the drums provided by new Libertine addition, Todd Witt who was once again at the top of his game in what he does. I must say that I am impressed at Cheek’s ability to smoke a handless cigarette while he plays bass... He lights one, smokes it, handless, throughout the song, then MAYBE he will ash when the song ends... I haven't seen piloting of  tobacco products like that since the days of Mark Zero in The Syphilitics. Maybe it was the heat of the day and its thick humidity and the sweat it brings on that thrust everyone into some vision-quest sort of sweat lodge indian thing, but The Libertines played a rather mystical set. It was back and forth from the alley to Northside Tavern all night long. I swore that I could have stayed awake all night drinking Bohemian beer in that alley and watching the street and the thick night that was upon us all. I made a snack of Outdated Snack Foods and for that, for everything I was thankful. And I knew at this/that moment how perfect everything can feel. I felt what my nations forefather’s felt. July 14th is MY day of liberty.

BPA could stand for Binary Proficiency Absent or some one please make them a website!

The Libertines

 


I Had to Remove Myself


THE HYPOCHONDRIACS and DEAD FLOWERS (Neus Potluck) July 15th @ The Warner House

Here’s another one of those obligations that I feel I have... After all this event came about as people taking initiative... members of THE NEUS SUBJEX MESSAGES OF THE BORED get together and plan an event open to all, not just people from the Message Board, where faces can be put with names and a bond can grow between people who may have never met... or that’s what the CONCEPT of the event is. Everyone isn't obligated to bring a dish, but many do. Food, music, spirits for all the “ghostbusters”. Just an all around good time. In the basement THE HYPOCHONDRIACS play first and it was sweet. It was nice to hear some new material that really plays up to the leads that Tim and Aaron deliver with relative ease. Before the show, Tim had changed from his camo shorts to jeans in the kitchen of the Warner House, right in front of the food and everything... He wasn't even ashamed about his skid marks on his underwear either! Sure, its summer. Times are tough in the big, hot city... Shit happens... But Tim didn't hide any of it. He’s REAL like that, and even though I lost my abrasive, never ending appetite, I respect Tim for his realness! When asked why he was changing out of his shorts to jeans he responded “I cant play Rock and/or Roll in shorts!” Just for memory's sake, later that evening Tim played a SECOND show as a member of THE CINCINNATI SUDS where 1 Adam 12 (Suds lead) was wearing nothing other than... You Guessed it! Shorts! and he was doing just fine reopening the wounds he and fellow Suds left in the Comet weeks before... But The Hypo’s were great. Jenny never sounded better. Jimmer was consistent on his Drums and Pussy Steve, looking dapper in a Aqua-Blue suit, didn't get a concussion this time.... I had never seen DEAD FLOWERS before. This was my first time... And I write this while FOREIGNERS “Feels Like The First Time” begins to play on my stereo... Ironic. Anyway, Dead Flowers are quite possibly one of the best band I have ever seen in my entire span of ‘Punkdom.’ I put their sound as something in-between, or mixing thereof, CANNED HEAT and THE PATTI SMITH GROUP if each of them were in love with three chord rock. They say funny shit in-between songs like “Let’s kick this Motherfucker.” But the three things that I fell in love with the band first was 1) How they take, display and then leave a dead, dried up flower at every show 2) When tuning, Ian (bass) eventually got bored tuning and said ‘Good Enough!” then dis-attached the tuner to ready himself for their first song and 3) Sara (vocals) complaining about how she has a habit of turning off the microphone she was to sing out of when she is using it. I suggested to her to leave the mic in the on position and put a piece of tape over it. She then reached down to her shoe to grab a morsel of duct tape from her shoe! I was a believer in Dead Flowers before they hit a first note! These last two instances happened back to back, just seconds from each other. Halfway through their set I had to go upstairs to the kitchen to get some Pineapple Soda... I had to take a break from the band because it was too perfect for me to take. I could have died from the songs Dead Flowers were lashing at the crowd... Tim (guitarist) said that we (meaning listener/fans/devotees) of Dead Flowers can expect a CD in September. Currently, I am PATIENTLY waiting. I’m looking out for the TWO of us. I hope we will be here when they are through with us...

The Hypochondriacs

Dead Flowers

 

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STORY BEHIND THE SONG:
Behind every song is a story.... So, in hopes of further exploring a bands songs for meaning and purpose, exposing a funny story, hidden truth or funny story or maybe just some "fun-fact" associated with the song itself... THE NEUS SUBJEX feature STORY BEHIND THE SONG is designed to give you a closer relationship with bands song(s). Beyond JUST a title, beyond JUST the music and lyrics themselves... STORY BEHIND THE SONG is a liner-note type song to song breakdown intended to act as an accompaniment to a bands release.

MANG "The Sequential Displacing of Flesh" CD+DVD
2006 CENTSLESS PRODUCTIONS (Cincinnati, Ohio)


Answers by: Mark S. and Andy

Bonus Questions By: Shawn Abnoxious

So, what exactly is a 'Mang'?
(Mark) Bill Reidy from the Twerps e-mailed me yesterday saying there were no less than 8 other groups called Mang.  Metal, bluegrass, a capella, latin, punk… bummer! I saw an East German movie crediting a bunch of gaffers, and a techniker with the last name of Mang. But I think we would concur that it is an acronym meaning Bowling Professionals of America.

(Andy) Mang was a mango flavored version of the dry drink mix, Tang, that was only test marketed briefly during the summer of 1974 in Butte, Montana.  It was quickly pulled after several kids developed excruciatingly painful leg cramps coupled with the trots.  Even with the internet, it’s hard to find out any information about it, because Kraft Foods keeps a tight lip on such subjects.



Between the DVD and CD, which do you think better represents the band?
(Mark) I think the videos are pointing in a visual direction that both of us are excited and somewhat unfamiliar. I come from a static visual background (painting, drawing, sculpture, multimedia, and some video) and Andy is a film buff and photography enthusiast. The audio part has always been a self trained kind of thing, where we both come from punk bands. I think Andy is more virtuous when it comes to playing stringed instruments, but I can play a lot of instruments poorly. One guy is better at one thing and the other another, but the excitement usually comes from what you don’t know. We may be making sculptures, or doing some multimedia performance next we meet. So the term band is probably a bad way to refer to us. And when we get to thinking about what represents us… well that is what we should be trying to kill in the next project.

(Andy) Mang is a very painful process that shouldn’t be represented by anything.  It centers around Mark and myself seeing who can annoy the other into submission.  Everyday, I pray to nonexistent gods that it will all end silently and without remorse.

What’s the meaning of the CD name "The Sequential Displacing of Flesh"?
(Mark) The title references our first CD “Fake Flesh and other Misconstructions” which was a play on the imagery of flesh verses the pixels delivering the fleshy imagery on the cover. It was a commentary about representations of flesh in the digital realm. There is an evolving title throughout the packaging of this CD, that title being one of several others, “The Disturbing Sequel to Flesh”, “The Disruptive Flesh Sequel”, “and The Disruptive Flesh Sequence”. Some titles are reserved in their stylistic appearance as not draw attention to themselves, where the main title “The Disturbing Sequel to Flesh” is going for a Herschell Gordon Lewis like splatter style. The titles get at some of the lyrical and medium readjustments taking place in representation throughout the CD. I’ve had an interest in
Marshall McLuhan ‘s The Medium is the Message and the follow up The Medium is the Massage (Pun), which refers to new technologies (mediums) asserting a massage like affect on cognition. Not so much the content being carried in/on the medium affecting thinking, but the medium itself delivering the real massage. Societies change with these new mediums, perceptions change; they are massaged into the culture and the way the culture perceives. It is important to point out the construction of a medium, to play with the seems (pun again), to acknowledge the bits. Rene Magritte’s painting of a pipe juxtaposed with the phrase Ceci n’est pas une pipe “This is not a Pipe”, gets at the games between what is said, how it is said, what it means, and what it actually is. I often reference representation in songs that I pen, that I speak, that I type, that I binate, so these flesh references are about the flux of meaning or the flux of representation.

(Andy) It is the confusing alignment of our internal organs with the seminal cinematography of a foul memory.  I don’t think that I need to elaborate any further…

MAN IN THE HARDHAT 
(Mark) On my way to Andy’s house I saw Raymond Thunder Sky at the Penn Station by the railroad tracks on Edwards Ave. Thunder Sky was this artist/local character who wore a clown suit, hardhat, and carried a lunch pail. At a bus stop some years earlier he showed me some off color pictures from his lunch pail art gallery. I started thinking about an abstract character based on these eccentricities. That evening, after finishing the song I picked up Andy’s City Beat and read Thunder Sky’s obituary. I really like the guitar on this; I have no idea how I did the effect or how to reproduce it. Maybe Andy did it?

(Andy) It’s all cashew cans and delay function abuse merged with Cincinnati’s version of a John Wayne Gacy lookalike.

MONOLITHIC MIRTH IN MAN
(Mark) Andy wrote this! I think he was trying to do some Bob Dylan Subterranean Home Sick Blues lyric thing.

(Andy) It’s the sound of a futuristic government falling apart under the weight of one being.

DAVID AND JENNIFER THE PROJECT
(Mark) David and Jennifer aren’t actual people rather computer voices generated from typed lyrics transposed from an argument.

(Andy) The bass line in this song is the beaten heart of matrimonial discomfort.  A win-win situation can easily be labeled as a lose-lose defeat.  In the background, I comb my hair with a spiral notebook.  

SATURN V
(Mark) Recently Andy confided he had no idea the rocket used to launch Apollo missions was known as the Saturn V rocket. So I thought this song went in one direction lyrically and he conceived it as going in another. Of course my direction was misguided; however it’s a better song if you insert the Saturn V rocket idea.

(Andy) The lyrics to Saturn V are based on a science fiction movie that I once saw and one that I have yet to watch and a book that I have yet to start. 

OBSOLETE OCPU
(Mark) My nephew was working on an organic computer (OCPU) for IBM. I had an interest in the design limitations of sensory receptors (eyes, ears, nose, mouth, touch), especially where the mind has exceeded the quest for knowledge available from its senses. I started playing around with speech recognition software, which had to learn how to hear my voice inflection, then would use a speech tool to play back what was spoken or typed. I had the choice of selecting a digital version of my own voice, or the default setting called Microsoft Sam.

(Andy) On this, Mark sounds like he’s announcing to the world that he’s very unemotional and lacks both sexuality and style.  I only added the doom and gloom.

REQUIEM FOR THE INVENTION OF THE CONCEPT OF A GOOD FRIEND
(Mark) You know those shitty type people that invite you in to their lives then discard you without even the consideration of an explanation. Well this isn’t about that.

(Andy) I really don’t think that this means anything to me.  I think that I must have slept through the recording, or maybe I was reading a “how to” manual.  The drums at the climax are extremely tight and must have been played by a guest musician. 

SMOKE'EM ROGER
(Mark) Part of the audio was appropriated from a website showing an American helicopter attack on Iraqis. Andy took video of us watching a Bengal’s’ game, where we are cheering and doing other culturally male type things. At one point Andy is talking about some guy’s neck tattoo, it appears he is making a slashing motion. Good ole Chance Operation!

(Andy) Sometimes the suspicion is more personal than private.

PILOTS FROM SAN FRANCISCO
(Mark) I saw a story where fighter pilots were guiding unmanned planes from California.

(Andy) There’s nothing under the radar here, or electronically derived.  No one ever seems to mention the gigantic influence that Jefferson Airplane had on the Velvet Underground.


SOMETIMES I GIRL
(Mark) I am echoing the notes that a 1 year old is playing on keyboards. In the background some R&B song which I have yet to identify is playing on the T.V. # If anyone can identify the song we would be most grateful. So, we tried to transcribe a garbled verse from that R&B song, and every time we tried to transcribe the words a new verse was created.

(Andy) This contains proof that people drag their procreation's into places that they don’t belong.

FREE CLINIC DROP OFF
(Mark) My least favorite Andy lyric. I’m not big on insanity songs.

(Andy) I can’t really remember what bullshit that I fed Mark about these lyrics to make him think that they’re intellectual.  Mark’s guitar playing at the end is quite impressive and expansive.

HE'S IN THE BATHROOM
(Mark) You ever have someone screaming at you while you take a shit. The door is shut as you calmly flip through your magazine of choice. You don’t have to react, because facial expressions are not required in this interaction. You don’t even have to say anything because society acknowledges that you are busy. Maybe I watched too much All in the Family when I was growing?

(Andy) Geez, in retrospect, this seems like a parody of some Lee Ranaldo solo stuff.

A BOUQUET OF SOLDIERS
(Mark) This was influenced by a feverish 105 degree nightmare, where the flowered wallpaper in my bedroom came to life and shot me with fire. The fire actually hurt! Not that I was trying to write a literal illustration of a hallucination. The same sort of disjunction between someone sitting in their house one second and the next finding themselves underneath a pile of ruble seemed to fit the switch between what is real and what is perceived, what is literal and what is mythical.

(Andy) Somebody dropped off that Residents DVD at my house, and it didn’t do any good at all.

PHOTO OBSOLESCENCE
(Mark) Andy brought out rolls of tape and drums for this. I was in a car wreck sometime around that period, broke my nose and didn’t remember much about the song. I couldn’t find the lyrics and Andy mixed the vocals pretty quietly, so I have no idea what the song is about. Thus no liner notes on the CD.

(Andy) It’s an amalgamation of pulled packing tape and air pumps.
 
ASSIMILATION OF A NORMAL MORNING
(Mark) Andy and I co-wrote the lyrics on this one, first half me and the second evil half, Andy. Andy found a bunch of morning bird samples on the internet. Andy has a thing about people wasting his time, especially in management meetings. Look at Juvenile Jack Asked “Is it Time To Go?” on the first CD.

(Andy) I believe that this is the nauseating sound of a hangover coming on too quickly.

FINALITY SQUARED
(Mark) One of us was switching mikes and instruments on and off while the other was playing.

(Andy) If you give a retarded man a microphone with an on/off switch, he’ll try to play it as instrument and give you an organ solo in the middle.

AIMLESSLY GAZING INTO YOUR SKIN
(Mark) Nothing like the warped perceptions of white guys riding a bus through Walnut Hills.

(Andy) Here’s another one that’s sounds quite cold and sexless.

UNIQUE PORTRAITS OF CHILDREN 
(Mark) My wife keeps on dragging us to Sears to get family portraits. I used to carry my brother’s 2nd grade portrait in my wallet. On his first day at a new school he got a black eye for being dressing as Little Lord Fauntleroy. My mom hadn’t got the idea that boys in a working class community should reflect the values of that community.

(Andy) This is about kids and drugs, but since Mark seems opposed to tried and true rock and roll song topics, it’s about how Mark dresses like a sixty year old, retired schoolteacher.

HUSBAND LOVE MOTHER GUN
(Mark) My wife had a dream about her mother.

(Andy) Parking garages are also quite cold and sexless especially if you’re alone within the dreams of your relatives.

I'VE GONE SHOPPING

(Mark) We had just finished our first CD, where the rule was we couldn’t use instruments, which morphed into not using instruments in a traditional manner. This was the first song on our second CD and Andy wanted real drums. I played some DEVO like rhythm thing. Andy played bass. I don’t know maybe he wanted to rock out. It was nice doing something a little more direct and tactile. This CD became more electronic and synthetic using those rock and roll instruments from which we rebelled in the first CD… the return of the dreaded guitar and bass. [About the video] Andy had the idea of going to a local mall to shoot some footage. He fashioned an inconspicuous video camera as not to bring security and unwelcome stares upon him. The footage just didn’t have the umph! and movement for which Andy was looking. So we added some products, strung a honey bear up from some fishing line, grabbed a flashlight, did some rhythmic editing, sexed it up with Andy in his underwear, and colorized the mall footage. Luckily Andy shot the underwear scene on his own.

(Andy) This is a minimalist pop, junkyard version of the American dream.  Or if you listen closely enough, it’s a musical joke about the White Stripes.

I'M SO LONESOME WHEN I'M WITH YOU
(Mark) Andy came across some notice where they were looking for country music submissions for a movie soundtrack. With lyrics like “You remind me of my insignificance, in the totality of it all” how can you not say yay haw! We never heard back from them.

(Andy) It’s bar closing time at the Mang honky-tonk.  I tried to get Mark to yodel on this, but he could not.   This was submitted for inclusion in a movie called, Dead Horse.  They wanted alt country, and we gave it to them.  They didn’t even have the common courtesy to send a simple rejection response.  They probably thought we were a joke or terrorists!

SECRET ART SHOW WORLD
(Andy) There’s a split second in here where I poke fun at how art galleries are so disorganized.  They always want you to come to their events, but they lack the brainpower to successfully disseminate enough logistical information to get you there.  Therefore, it’s a secret. 

For more information, like where to obtain this CD, visit the Centsless Productions website: http://www.centslessprod.com/


"The human name doesn't mean shit to a tree"  - Grace Slick


 

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APOLLO UP! “Chariots of Fire”  CD


Apollo Up has had my attention since their first release back in 2003 with “Light The End and Burn it Through” that was 11 songs from a new band that hardly anyone had heard of. But the times are changing... “Chariots of Fire” is proof of this bands staying power and creativity to develop new and interesting music that grabs the attention like no other. Apollo Up has given a second offering of their somewhat different style of ROCK'n ROLL.  With this release, they've taken things to a new level/standard of how independent music is making it's way to the masses for those ready to try something new and exciting and steering away from the mainstream, but keeping an open mind on what the future might have for independent bands. Apollo Up is no exception in proving that you do not need to be a big named band to have that big band sound. Like the first track, “Walking the Plank” would be the anthem of this release, but there is plenty more to discover with 9 songs remaining. Personal favorites would be “Situation: HOT” and “Custom Critical” that gets the blood flowing and your feet moving and leaving you wanting more! Trust me when I say that you will be hearing more about this band in the future. Check them out! -Dave Fishwick
www.apolloup.com
www.theory8records.com

HATS OFF “Accumulation” CD


Early recorded efforts of this band reminded me of a reunion version of THE LEWD and I think I may have even put that in print somewhere... or maybe I just thought it. Anyway, I just got it in print there for a first, or second time... I’m not really up to doing research on my own writings right now... Well, that comparison to The Lewd is still true, but maybe to a bit lesser of degree on this CD. The Hats Off sound on this CD is a refurbished one, representative of the big punk sounds you would hear on Epitaph or Fat releases. Like I stated, I can still hear some of that LEWD in there. I like it, but now the sound is like that of a mixture of SOCIAL DISTORTION’S newer stuff, LAG WAGON and (you are going to flip when I say this) BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN! Yeah, you heard me right! The Boss! I see promise in songs like “Wait To See”, “Mr. Fuckface” and “Searching for Identity” which are all bunched up together in the middle of the release which makes me wonder why...-Shawn Abnoxious
www.HatsOffRock.com
www.MySpace.com/TheRealHatsOff

SINKS OF GANDY  “Trust Damage” CD
Sometimes I feel like some bands try to hard to make something great in a studio instead of just letting the music be what it is. This is no exception! Sinks of Gandy play all original Rock'n Roll filled with plenty of talent, but have took things to far with vocal effects...ON EVERY SONG! I don't mind being a little creative with effects once in awhile, but when it's mixed with a MOOG keyboard things start to not sound good anymore. I can't believe that a band with this much talent would ruin things on purpose, the music is fantastic all the way till the effects bleed through and through saturating the mix making it hard to understand. My advice would be not to try to be something that your not and just let things happen naturally, then maybe add effects as needed. Please guys..you're much better than this.  Put down the megaphone! -Dave Fishwick
www.myspace.com/sinksofgandy
www.tiberiusrecords.com

DEF LEPPARD "Yeah!" CD


Finally, Joe Elliott gets the album he's been dying to construct since his earliest days as an NWOBHM punter.  On-stage collaborations with Ian Hunter and versions of SWEET and MICK RONSON tunes on the Retro Active odds 'n' ends collection were tasty teasers, but Def Lep pay full tribute to their rock 'n' roll heroes this time around. "20th Century Boy" (T. REX) finds guitarists Phil Collen and Vivian Campbell straining their voices on the "big girlie vocals," but South African singer Stevie Vann-Lange quells the soreness.  Elliott tests his pipes on "Little Bit Of Love" (FREE) and does Paul Rodgers proud with the right amount of gritty aplomb.  "10538 Overture" (ELO) conducts the ooh 'n' aah procession by waving a CHEAP TRICK/ENUFF Z'NUFF-like baton.  Taking leave from his job as a Freddie Mercury impersonator, Justin Hawkins from THE DARKNESS mimics the drunken loon part of Steve Priest on "Hell Raiser" (SWEET).  "The Golden Age Of Rock 'N' Roll" (MOTT THE HOOPLE) morphs Collen into Steve Jones and reveals "where the 'woah ho' stuff in 'Photograph' and 'Foolin' ' and a lot of our 'call to arms' choruses really came from."  The lone American track, "Hanging On The
Telephone" (THE NERVES or BLONDIE -- pick a caller), speed-dials the youthful exuberance of TSAR's first slab.  Others worth shouting about are ROXY MUSIC, BADFINGER, THIN LIZZY, and some dude named JOHN KONGOS. In toto, a better noodle dish than G N' R's. Bite it, Axl. -Gunther 8544

SAMURAI DREAMS #3   ZINE
"To highbrow intellectual film snobs, this movie is the antichrist, but to seekers of lost celluloid garbage, this movie is the lost Holy Grail floating flamboyantly in an ocean of raw sewage."  The quotation accurately sums up Samurai Dreams' general purpose of spotlighting fringe films on the tossed-off VHS format.  Five college buds from Massachusetts wax cinematic about their finds from thrift stores, trash cans, and public libraries.  Forrest Gump decoding Da Vinci?  Off the shrimp boat with that shit.  These best actors include real-life enlistees getting ready for Vietnam, a demon named Ratspit, and silver guys who hide in Nintendo cartridges.  Selected stills accompany the well-written blurbs.  Most bizarre is the shot of Nukie -- an E.T.-like creature with a mucous moustache resembling elephant tusks.  Reviews are brush-stroked with stars, but don't miss out on comments like "Killing Machine is a really shitty movie.  Seriously.  Willie Aames is in it."  However, if Buddy and Charles are in charge of you, don't hesitate on giving any of these films a private screening. Despite the "No Stars" rating (or maybe because of it), I'd step on GAS-S-S-S for the sole reason of FF-ing to "an onstage cameo by Country Joe and the Fish where the singer is interrupted by God and told that he left his car lights on." -Gunther 8544
samuraidreamszine@yahoo.com

CRIMEWAVE  #5 DVDZine


I’m damn glad to see somebody’s doing something like this.  I remember way back whenever, way before the internet, when you’d read about bands, but they’d never make it out to your town or break up after five minutes of existence.  Everyone snatched up those Flipside and Target videos so that they could see what all of the fuss was about.  Well, here’s some nice video documentation from, I believe, the burgeoning Arizona area scene.  Like everything good in life, it varies from top notch quality to the gutter.  Dairy Queen parking lots to what looks like the Warped tour.  Contains both edited videos (music, trailers, films, and animation) and straight up live shots featuring SHARK PANTS, SWING DING AMIGOS, RIVERBOAT GAMBLERS, NO BUNNY AND HIS FABULOUS FLYS, PARTS AND LABOR, 50 MILLION, and CHANGO MALO.  A good fun watch!  Keep it up.  - B1
www.crimewavemagazine.com

GRANDMA'S BOY   DVD


After a careless roommate blows months' worth of back rent on Filipino hookers, video game tester Alex (Allen Covert) is forced to find new living arrangements.  He turns to his dope-dealing friend Dante (Peter Dante), but this conflicts with the arrival of a lion that will "protect the shit" and keep the taekwondo-practicing monkey at bay.  Luckily, co-worker Jeff (Nick Swardson) offers Alex the use of an air mattress for the night, but an accident involving Jeff's mom and a sticky substance puts the vagabond out the door again.  Shelter's answer comes in the form of Grandma Lilly (Doris Roberts), who shares her quaint home with two elderly ladies. Bea (Shirley Knight) dines on pills with syrup for breakfast and licks paintbrushes.  In between wisecracks, Grace (Shirley Jones) is a perpetually horny GILF who has "given Charlie Chaplin a handjob" and "69'd Don Knotts."  At first, Alex is handed a laundry list of household chores, but the gift of an illegal cable box satiates the women and gives him the opportunity to work on an upcoming title (Eternal Death Slayer 3) for Branasium.  Overseeing the project is Samantha (Linda Cardellini), who name-drops Super Mario Brothers and has big mushroom eyes for Alex.  This power-up makes a jealous Bowser out of J.P. (Joel David Moore) -- a Marilyn Manson-cum-Urkel prodigy who created the game currently demanding the company's attention.  Not being invited to an impromptu party that showcases Samantha singing Salt 'N' Pepa, he spins 'n' sobs a story to Alex about "wanting people to like him."  Tears and snot wiped away, J.P. extends help on a non-Branasium game Alex has been developing for years.  Problems with EDS 3 and the Samantha situation lead J.P. to claim Alex's work as his own at the unveiling.  Can Alex use the secret weapon to slay the dragon and get the girl?
-Gunther 8544

TRUDELL     DVD


There is something to be said about living one’s life not hearing about a guy like Trudell until you are 33 years old. Especially when you understand, and can site examples of, the governments cointelpro attempts... It’s weird really, before this movie, I don't ever recall hearing anything about, by or from Trudell. In some ways, I guess you can say that ‘THEY’ are winning... or at least scoring a lot of points! Trudell is a spirit of protest. A big part of the American Indian Movement (AIM), he has lived THE life of protest, standing up for what he believes in time after time, no matter what the cost may be. No matter how steep. Onward! I can't really go too much into explaining Trudell, because in doing so I would really ruin the good parts of the movie. The parts that got my blood boiling. The parts that make me wish that I had the intestinal fortitude to just say “Fuck it” and go the route of the warrior. The parts that made me sad, mad and enlightened all at once... but I’m not as strong as Trudell. Even a small amount as strong as that guy. I wanted to be REALLY inspired by this DVD, like the way I was after watching BUKOWSKI: BORN INTO THIS, but ultimately, I wasn't... Since Trudell is still alive and active, I feel his story has yet to reach its climax. Trudell's story is one still being written and his life has yet to reach its full potential. But yet, this DVD did leave me with the feeling that I am not doing enough as a person, I need to do more! And even though I am a lil’ bit late to get to important things of life, I am still getting there... I have now found Trudell, and I can now keep an eye on him. A watchful eye. An eye of admiration. I HIGHLY recommend this DVD, so put it on your list. Right next to BORN INTO THIS if need be. I would love to see a movie like this be MANDATORY viewing for anyone, anytime in their life. I don't see how anyone could watch this and NOT be moved in some positive way... But that is my idea... and my ideas are shit in so many ways. This, I now realize, CAN be. So maybe it is. -Shawn Abnoxious


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John Haywood
I met John as part of a band that I would come to rave fanatically about, GREEN FORMICA TABLE of which was also a band that ended before its time.... He sang and played guitar for that effort... Then, hanging out after a show one time he approached me and asked if I would feel comfortable if he did a painting of me based on a a picture that he had... I felt honored, but more surprised because I didn't even know he was into art. I told him he could paint whatever he wanted but at that time John ceased just being a cool as fuck guy in a band that were the saviors of a movement yet to be defined, John became and artist to me and from there,  one of the few people that I can say fully inspired me to do more myself... So, this iONart, is a new segment, especially designed for the NSX online experience... Designed to explore the artistic side of the morbid media beast that is The Neus Subjex. Keep an eye on art because when you least expect it, it  will get you in your back with a dull, rusty knife... Always ready for the attack. This is the second installment featuring John’s work. Two more examples, and  a bonus question.

Dixie Darlin'

CITY LIFE BLUES  1
City Life Blues 1 was actually the last City Life Blues Painting that I did. When I first got to the city I got aggravated at how hectic the place was, and how work and life was all run by things that are completely unnecessary. I mean, people bust their asses just to have nice things, like fancy toasters, and kitchens with a hundred cabinets etc. I'd say this was my reaction to suburbia, because I first lived in a poor trailer park in Oldam county that was surrounded by rich subdivisions. I just despised it all you know. That's why I moved to the old beat down house downtown where all the addicts are.HAHA... But you know I wasn't real fond of those paintings so I gave them away. But you could say that those are the first real mature paintings I ever did.

DIXIE DARLIN'
I'm Glad you like this one. Hopefully the imagery is clear enough. It's about an out of work stripper.  In Southern Louisville, down Dixie Highway, there is a chain of stripjoints in a desolate area that is overwhelmed by these huge cancerous smokestacks that are part of a Louisville Gas and Electric Plant. It's the kind of place you want to hold your breath when you're going through there. But I heard tales of these homely strippers that worked in these stripjoints. I even met a couple from one of these places who came into the tattoo shop I work in. They said they were strippers and I thought SICK! WHO'D PAY MONEY TO LOOK AT YOU ALL! I could even imagine their nakedness. Well one day I was on my way to work driving down to FOrt KNox to tattoo some soldiers when I noticed that the strip club was up for sale. I suddenly felt pity on those soon to be out of work strippers. And of course, I did some drawings that set around forever a till I finally said Ok time to paint this.  I really kind of almost made that stripper look pretty in the end you know.

Lookin gback in hindsight concerning your involvement in GREEN FORMICA TABLE, would you say you are left with more positive or negative feelings? and why?

Positive definitely because I'm still best friends with everybody from GFT.  Hell I play music today in a band with 2 of the 3 other members. Did you know Green Formica Table have a My Space Page? GFT was the perfect band where everybody had a hand in all the creative aspects of the songwriting. Somebody'd come in with a basic structure and then everybody else would butcher it.  But it always came out sounding pretty good. It's funny though GFT is long gone, but I hear alot of it coming through in other bands from around. I'm not saying that certain bands were even influenced by us, just that sometimes I hear a band and they remind me of GFT. Like the new Puppy Vs Dyslexia, I mean hell they almost did a U-turn from there foam days to this more weirdo crazy thing.  I feel like I hear alot of GFT in bands like Lucky Pineapple here in Louisville, who I don't even know if any of them came to any of our shows.  But I also have to credit GFT with my interest in old time music and the decision to start playing banjo. In GFT we didn'  focus on chord changes, we just focused on the sound and rhythms and melodies. Old time music is the same way just a little simpler. Which is probably part of why GFT is no more. As our music got more and more complex,
I kept longing for a more stripped to the bones kind of sound. We talk about playing all the time again, but I don't think it will happen. Musically, I'm really focused on working on material for my new group Ponty's Camper.

What made you get into doing art?
I've just always done it you know. I could think of hundreds of instances where art has really lifted me up.  I was the skinny geek in an extended family of football baseball and basketball players, so I was always getting picked on. Art has been the only thing that has gotten me any attention I guess.  Most of the time it was bad when I was a kid cause I got in trouble once for drawing a naked girl, then I got in trouble for drawing all over my desk. I would even draw up my textbooks. And it wasn't all pretty stuff you know, it was skulls and mean shit. It's just like its something that I was given you know like a gift from God.  So I feel that I have to use it, I don't know everybody hopes that their art or music or whatever will have a major impact on people. It's my voice and that's all I really know to say about







(.2) L A S T :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


The Original Night Dude”




NSX Templar MARK ZERO enjoying an adult beverage after arriving at THE COMET by means of skateboard! yes, Skateboard! He rides with his arms out-stretched from his side, “no hand” style and has the NSX vote for Tri-State Free-Style Champ 2006. Keep shredding Oh, sweet Templar...
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Back to the top!

 

(.1) 


1000 Arms . Meow MotherFucker . Rumble Records. John Haywood Blue Velvet . Toys That Kill . Grizzly Man. Minor Disturbance . Wussy . My Latex Brain . David Turbow. Wolfgang Bang . 12 X100 . Stealth Bovine Walk. Mall of the Dead plus LESS THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE                   
I N T R O ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Hello everybody, and welcome back to This, the second installment of an online version of THE NEUS SUBJEX... You fucks.....

And water has chosen me to be the subject of its life, its message, its NEW promise. To be the bearer of its message, that its time will once again rise, despite whatever promises have been made. It will consume you a second time before another element consumes you for a first time. That, it wanted me to tell you. So, how is everyone out there? Enjoying this online NSX are you? Well, you don't really have to answer that, because your opinions don't matter.  Everything is in place for the NSX online to travel on in electronic foreverness.... I don't really have to much to say in this intro that I already haven't said in any of the bits that I have written. I guess that I could say something about looking for more contributors. Someone to write about events and news pieces would be nice. More analytical, “correct” writing would be nice to offset my power of “out-there”... Another reviewer too... Bringing on Gunther 8544 with NSX #67 was a big boost I feel to everything, and I would like to see more... This first installment of NSX #68 is a big one... Have fun reading it, I think there is a lot of good shit in here to get out and flush down your throat.  So, without further adieu, scroll down on this fucker and get into the girth of the issue... Look for an update as needed.  In (.2) expect to see some Cincinnati Suds and Viva la Fox Coverage and a story behind the song with MANG!  Hold on, cause its a good one!  All of this (and less) is my promise to you, as like water's promise that I mentioned earlier.

Thanks everyone for reading, and I ask you to (NEVER “order” you) have some fun, you're a beautiful, natural person and you deserve it.

-Shawn Abnoxious
General Let Down


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A Rumble in Covington.


Traveling from the safety and perfection of my suburbs, with gas prices BE DAMMED, I took a moment to travel to a new phenomenon located on Main Street in Covington, a place called RUMBLE RECORDS. This was during the same week as their grand opening, a good time to check them out, and to see what they got to offer. It was a good trip despite any attempts of any greek myths to ruin my day with their old magic and evil ways, but hey, FUCK THOSE GUYS! Before my visit to RUMBLE RECORDS, I couldn't ever recall visiting Covington’s “Mainstrasse Village”, which I suppose is just a fancy way of saying all the odds and ends shops located within a one block area of Covington’s Main Street area... Basically, that's what it was, but I’m not knocking it, don't let me give you the wrong impression. Like I said, I live in the suburbs. Cincinnati’s NORTH suburbs to be exact. A place called Fairfield, and its depressing to see what they call a ‘Village Greene’ out in these parts... or worse yet, what they call a mall. It felt good to be on the road. With a mission. Away from the normal stuff I look at. It felt good to travel across a bridge and have a destination, a goal. I know its JUST across the river, but I don't get over there much, and when I do its usually to the Southgate House and all of its lit up periphery involved with that thing. Since hearing of  RUMBLE RECORDS earliest amebic forms, I had been psyched about the whole deal and regretted not going to opening day festivities due to the obligations of employment. But it's all good because as I battled with my regret, the way I remember a brave sailor battling skeleton warriors with round shields and curved sword’s from a movie that I always thought was a true story.... I was thinking that I was doing to right thing by having my first visit  to a new place such as this record store to be on an unexpected off-peak day. Friday afternoon was MINE. All mine! Skeleton’s and myths be dammed! Gas prices be dammed! After all, I felt like I was “covering the story” for this new online NSX in a way, so it was like I was “on assignment” or some shit like that. The way I see it, they (meaning Rumble Records) can make it look good on opening day, but to get a real feel, go there AFTER all of that. When the fun is over and the job looms over each of your days. When FUN evolves into an obligation. Here I am, a handful of days after all of that opening stuff... including a live set by the fully NSX endorsed BUFFALO KILLERS, to see them and judge them when they least expect it. So despite my newness to the area, I didn't have a hard time finding Main Street from the interstate, or Rumble Records, once I found Main Street. Dare I say that I actually had a fun time looking around... I parked a couple of blocks north and walked a bit to the store. Looks like some interesting restaurants are around... Lots of tables on sidewalks. An interesting bookstore.... I seen an elevated train bridge. That, coupled with the various pubs and stuff reminded me of Dayton Ohio’s Oregon District a bit. Those pubs look decent, pricey maybe (as most places, not just these) but that’s sort of to be expected. I seen a few places to get coffee, a baseball card collector place, and two tattoo parlors. I spent some time trying to remember which one my brother said he got his tats from, but couldn't, because they both sounded familiar. Then I thought about some tales that I have heard of Oktober Fest and Mardi Gras celebrations that are always boasted about concerning “Mainstrasse” and I imagined all of my friends getting tickets for public urination. This is a reoccurring story for some reason with me when someone tells me about Mainstrasse Village.... I looked around, en route to Rumble Records, and I was imagining my friends in every nook and cranny, every potted flower or shadow, holding a beer in a plastic cup in one hand, and the other aiming their piss-spitter, and all of them, I imagined, laughing the whole time. Right up until the ticket is dispensed, then continuing  to laugh. I have some warped friends, but then again, I imagine that I may be the worse of them all, because here I was going to a record store, to “cover” it and all I was thinking about was my friends and their funny stories about pissing in public when I should have been focusing on my self-ordained task at hand and figuring out my angle in the piece I was to write about the store or at the very least, what CD’s I was currently looking for. Yeah, perhaps I was the worse of the bunch. The Prime Rotten apple that ruined the batch. For that I take responsibility and REFUSE to apologize... So despite what the name of RUMBLE RECORDS would imply, that one would walk into the store and be instantly accosted by Teddy-Boys dressed in suits and pointy shoes looking to fight and prove themselves in an act of street fury, all I remember was that everyone in the store had facial hair. Not really everyone, I don't have a mustache or beard... and I think one of the cash register pilots didn't either, but, about that day, I do remember facial hair, because later, on the NSX MESSAGES OF THE BORED, there was talk of facial hair coupled with recognition. I remember it because every beard I see, every mustache I spy, I let loose the insect of envy and would waste any Genie given wish on impressive facial hair. I dream of handlebar mustaches and long beards like the commies. But it wasn't in my cards (I have a pretty poor hand) so I wont complain, because the boys in the league office told me before when I bitched and moaned: “Be happy with what you got Shawn Abnoxious” and after repeated hits on the head with fist holding lit cigars, I now listen to them. So, I introduce myself and get to lookin’. Everyone is nice and the selection isn't half bad. I buy a lot of music. oodles and oodles. I would say though that RUMBLE RECORDS is comparable to a store that would be like a mix of SHAKE IT RECORDS when it first opened, in look and organization with a feel, of a kind, that I felt in VINYL ASSAULT when it existed in Norwood... There were signs up and explaining how they are getting constant restocks and orders in and to be patient... and all of that is fine, but  really no apology is necessary. If I lived in Northern Kentucky, I would just be happy that a store like RUMBLE RECORDS existed on my side of the muddy river. So, I bought a few CD’s, including the new one from MISSION OF BURMA and all was good. Like comic books when I as a kid, every time I look at that MISSION OF BURMA disc, I will think of RUMBLE RECORDS, the place where I purchased it. I told the store patrons that it's in my belief that the basics for every good scene is decent places to find the music to be inspired with. The people of the Eight Valleys thrive on the existence of SHAKE IT RECORDS in many different ways. RUMBLE RECORDS will be a focus point of the same power sometime soon. And the greater Eight Valleys region will have ample power for the coming battle... I left the store with a promise to return, and that is not a lie. As I found a flower pot near a quaint outdoor restaurant, and proceeded to water their plants with my piss-spitter, I smiled and laughed, just as I imagined my friends did earlier in my street dreams. I had found my angle on the Rumble Records store to write about, and managed to find some CD’s despite those bothersome street dreams from earlier.... MISSION (of Burma) ACCOMPLISHED... With the swish of a plane landing on an aircraft carrier, and the presi-dent giving a thumbs-up! My mind thought about the future... Some other day, when I feel up for a journey and feel the urge to damn all gas prices, I will go buy music made from plastic that is made from the same oil, and feel how it feels to support THREE major industries at once, and still feel cool when I wear my three row stud bracelet and wear all black.

RUMBLE RECORDS is located on 644 Main Street in Covington. Get on I-75 South, go across a muddy river. Get off at one of the exits marked ‘Covington’ then drive around until you find it.  www.myspace.com/rumblerecordsstore

Show of Note
I just love those CD release shows you go to when the admission price gets you a CD of the band who is having the release show... It's like you get a bonus, even if you pay a lil’ bit more... Well on Saturday, June 24th Phratry Records presents BLUE VELVET in support of their new four song CD  (review this update, read on)  along with 24 HR FLU , COVINGTON (the band, not the entire city on that ample, but still too small for an entire city silly ape, stage)  KNIFE THE SYMPHONY which has members from THERAPHOSA and AMPLINE and who are also currently in the studio recording their debut effort with some help from Mike Montgomery and is scheduled for release later this summer (according to, and “on” Phratry Records) and last but never least, a band called PIGLET who are from Chicago. The show will be at THE MAD HATTER (620 Scott Street Covington, Ky 41011) starting around 9 PM and with the admission price of $7 you will receive a FREE copy of Blue Velvet's new EP... Remember, The Mad Hatter is all-ages, all the time. Get there even earlier than 9 PM, get a bucket of Chicken from LEE’S next door, wait about an hour after getting the chicken, then take it into the show with you. They’ll  love that one... with ‘They’ meaning the boys in the league office...




06/10/06: Happy Manatee’s, Drinking to the end of Modern-Modern Art with Jesse Alexander, The Stealth Bovine Walk
I spent the entire day getting rained on in one form or another. The Cincinnati Zoo. My company's annual picnic. Rain. It didn't hamper my spirits as one may imagine, and as much as everyone else was bitching and moaning..I like the zoo. I like animals. But as always, each visit of the zoo brings about a pinch of sadness, because, as expected, many animals don't seem happy. I understand why, totally, and it must be a bummer to live around so many fake rocks all the time... But I understand how my zoo trip that rainy day promoted further incarceration of animals, and that’s MY guilt that I will live with... but I remember hearing somewhere that the Cincinnati Zoo was awarded some special type of recognition concerning their animal displays. Now, I’m not pretending to understand any form of Zoo Habitat scene or anything, but the basic ingredients found in any display of a larger animal, can also be found in 90% of the other displays for animals despite whatever region the animal may be from... Fake Rocks. Fake Trees. Shrubs. Backdrop paintings (inside) showing scenes that the animals will never be able to reach and be a part of... But I was really taken back by the Manatees. These things actually looked content and happy. They were having a blast in their tank. Manatees are creatures that I am always looking for when I fish the Crystal River Flats on my summer vacations in Florida, but also creatures that I have yet to see in the wild. Apparently they have a long migration track to Central America or some shit like that, so I’m thinking that maybe this is one of the factors that make Manatees so fucking happy at the zoo. From what I understand, the Manatees migration is really dangerous with all the boats and such, so maybe these dudes at the zoo have the attitude like "man, they feed us all day long, and we don't have to swim to Honduras anymore, this RULES.” I spent the better part of the day at the zoo before I got sick of being rained on and left. It was like Chinese Water Torture. I can better prepare for a steady rain, and accept all the uncomfort that it may bring, but this off and on rain, with varying intensity was torture. But everywhere I went, it was this way ALL DAY LONG. Even in the evening when I got to the art gallery known as JUNIOR to see Jesse Alexander’s 12 X 100 exhibit. It was a nice display I liked it a lot... This guy, Jesse Alexander who is currently working with Tokion Magazine, got some of his friends, three rolls of black paper and poured homemade white paint onto the ocean, and unraveled the paper and let the waters waves and slight current drag the paint onto the paper. As you can imagine, the display was gigantic and there was a lot to look at. There was a display of how the procedure was done showing on a TV, which garnered the attention of me and my company, but only three seats were provided for its viewing and those seats were occupied with talk of electrical friends and their worth therein... But I was sort of invited to this gallery to see this exhibit and I felt inclined to look around... In the back there is a pretty cool “store” that also serves as a kitchen for a living space. Some music was drifting out of a loft and despite seeing several items that I maybe would have put a lil cash down on, to support the arts and all, I couldn't figure out who the gallery personnel were. They need some sort of ID necklaces or something... So, I saw a table of wine, and snacks and I introduced myself to it. I meant to grab a bottle of wine to pour myself a sniff but instead grabbed  a bottle of cheap bourbon. I realized that in some ways, the bourbon had chose me. So I grabbed a paper cup and offered those around me to share in a toast. Several obliged me. We raised our drinks and as requested by me, drank to Modern, Contemporary (which is just another word for Modern) art. As the cups greeted each other and each began to take a drink, I added the stipulation “...And its DESTRUCTION” and quickly drank. The others did not stop and further obliged me. This day was one of those days that a grand end of things would be welcomed. Putting me, and the world, out of our uncomfortable misery. The Bourbon was cheap, but warmed me up a bit from the chill that the rain was trying to get into me from early in the day. It gave me a bit of vigor. I paced the gallery a bit more. On my way in, I seen some people in an alley sort of area. Drinking and talking. And I desperately wanted to find that area and ask what the alley's name was so I may introduce myself, but I never figured out how to get back there... I had read several electronic articles talking about the premise of JUNIOR GALLERY and designated select viewing areas and private talks, small, unfriendly and equally uninviting pockets of people (for whatever reason now, I cant remember) were a thing of the past.... But it didn't bother me. I’m one of those guys who is always uncomfortable everywhere I go and with everything I do. I have learned to just throw myself on people and can tell you story after story how that is a good thing, and bad...  I like to meet people and network. I thought my trip to Junior would be more of that when it wasn't, but that's OK. I will return from time to time to the gallery... I spend the remainder of the evening trying to find the starting area for the “Stealth Bovine Walk”. The Stealth Bovine Walk is an event that I read about in THE PAPERS that follows the alleged trail that an escaped cow took from a Slaughterhouse near Kahn’s down near Spring Grove Ave. that eluded residents and employees of the area and eventually made it up into the hilltop park of Mt. Storm where it evaded capture for a number of days from helicopters and a rather large Capture-Party.  When the cow was finally captured, it was saved from the killing floor and placed in an opening day parade for The Reds. Well, I didn't find the starting point or anything and I can't remember the particulars of them even to regurgitate them to you now, but if there is a UFC type fight between the Purple People Bridge walk, and this Stealth Bovine Walk, I will chose the path of the rebellious bovine. Rain or shine.

MALL OF THE DEAD
As a side note, the same people organizing the STEALTH BOVINE WALK are the same people organizing the local arm of a nation-wide MALL OF THE DEAD day that is supposed to happen on Geroge Romero's birthday. MALL OF THE DEAD is supposed to simultaneously link up people all over the USA at different malls dressing up like zombies and walking through the malls at a simultaneous time. I heard something about this even taking place at Southgate mall in Kentucky, Cincinnati Mills in Fairfield, and Dayton Mall.... But once again, the particulars of the event escape me...

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1 0 0 0   A R M S
ATTACHED TO ONE-THOUSAND WIPING HANDS

A brief look behind the mystery of a Cincinnati great.



1000 Arms consist of 

Andy (drums) 

Gabe (guitar. vocals. keys)

Scott (bass. vocals) 

and 

Nathan (video. keys) 

Todd (moog. moral support.).

 

 

 

 

Questions By Shawn Abnoxious
Answers by Gabe
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You list a brief history on your website... is there anything else to add to that for newcomers to the way of 1000 ARMS?

I guess that we are constantly changing. A show 2 days from now could be totally different from the last one. So try not to expect anything.

Does 1000 ARMS mean weapons, or actual arms? Like 500 men = 1000 Arms... or maybe a sea beast that has 1000 Arms. Aren't all the members of 1000 ARMS afraid of the water?

We were trying to leave that kind of ambiguous. Initially I thought it just sounded good and painted a good picture of what andy and I were trying to do when it was just us. You know like 2 guys playing 2
instruments trying to sound like an orchestra, or better yet, and arkestra. The mystical implications of the name were sort of coincidental, but neat. so now I make reference to them.

I'm not really sure if Andy is afraid of water. He does seem to bathe regularly as far as I can tell. I used to be afraid of swimming pools and things when I was a kid, I didn't have glasses and couldn't see what could be lurking on the bottom, but now... yeah.

Looking at your My Space page, you say "Moisture has made a Mess." When does moisture NOT make a mess? Do you dream of low Moisture environments?

That's up there because the roof in our old practice space was leaking very close and sometimes on our things. Moisture is always a problem for people with sensitive equipment, I guess, and I wouldn't mind having a moisture free practice environment.... also it has rained at almost every show we have played... moisture.

How effective is the weapon of 'Compassion'?

That's one of those references... It is said by buddhists that Avalokiteshvara was so disheartened by
the suffering of his fellow man that he turned away from enlightenment to become a Bodhisattva (a great being who aspires to help all sentient beings be free of suffering before entering the bliss of Buddha hood) but upon looking at the world shattered into a being with 1000 Arms and eyes by his compassion... there's more that you can google.
 
There are four list enabled songs on your MySpace page... I'm going to list them, give the background on these songs...

MY HEART IS IN A LION: We threw this together for our first show at the last minute. People liked it, I think, because you could actually tell what I was saying kind of. We are currently reworking it to become more of a song and less of just a chant.

THE GREAT ARCHITECT: This song was recorded and a year and a half maybe 2 years before 1000 Arms existed as a band. Matt Frye had me into Ultrasuede, and Andy was free so we improvised it in a few minutes and it sounded cool. When 1000 Arms started we got asked to do our first show without a lot of time to prepare, and seeing that this was a pretty simple song we decided to play it. Todd wrote a bass part and that was that. We over dubbed the bass part and some samples at my house and posted it as our first song on myspace.



FUTUREPERFECT (Note: tight Fucking song!): This is one we wrote about six 8 months ago just sort of fucking around. D minor all the way. Todd wrote a really cool dub style bass line. Andy 's got a cool drum part too. I like the verse lyrics but I think I might change to chorus. Haven't played this with Scott live yet. It might be one of the few to survive the change over.

SONSFALLSEQUENCE: This is a midi version of a song we play now. We weren't able to record it so I programmed it. It sounds funny I guess.

When I last seen 1000 ARMS you were talking about a release on ONE HAND RECORDS. What's the status of this?

We are trying to get a record out. We had recorded an album but we scrapped it. It doesn't sound like us anymore. But we are going to record a 7" by Hook or by Crook and the old album might just be a bonus with that 7". Look for it by the end of the summer. If anyone wants to invest in us send me an e-mail, or stop complaining. I'm not made of money.

Do you ever get tired of being called 'post-punk influenced'?

I mean it makes sense. We are post punk influenced. I like Fugazi, I like Slint but I have a lot of other not so cool influences as well. I like Mary Timony a lot and steal from her all the time when I write, but nobody says anything about that. PJ Harvey too. I think maybe one reason we might sound "unique" is that most of my primary influence in how I write are women, and that's not usually the case for a male fronted "rock" band.

How often do you get drilled by someone about the video accompaniment? Like people looking for deeper meanings and stuff... often?

Pretty often. Nathan does a great job of making it work with the music. People think it's pre recorded, but he's there flipping the switches. He's really a great guy and does great things for us.
 
On your website you said your bass player fell asleep and couldn't do a Fleetwood Mac tribute show... But you played SILVER SPRINGS and it went over real well... is this a song you will put in your regular set now?

Silver springs, I like to play it. I think it's funny, but Andy hates it. Maybe I can work it out so we can do it one more time if you want Shawn.

What's the one thing you want NSX readers to know about 1000 ARMS?

We are often very tired. We play a lot of shows and all work full time. So if we seen a bit detached or strange at shows this is why. Don't take it personal. We appreciate that you came to see us and like our music. We are just very tired. Oh, and we will have shirts and buttons and stickers again soon so come get some.

MORE:

www.MySpace.com/1000Arms
www.1000Arms.org


Thank you 1000 Arms...
-Shawn

 

STORY BEHIND THE SONG:
Behind every song is a story.... So, in hopes of further exploring a band's songs for meaning and purpose, exposing a funny story, hidden truth, or maybe just some "fun-fact" associated with the song itself... THE NEUS SUBJEX feature STORY BEHIND THE SONG is designed to give you a closer relationship with bands' song(s). Beyond JUST a title, beyond JUST the music and lyrics themselves... STORY BEHIND THE SONG is a liner-note type song to song breakdown intended to act as an accompaniment to a band's release.



MEOW MOTHERFUCKER "Meow Motherfucker" CD
2006 Self-Released (Cincinnati, Ohio)


Answers By: Eli (Vocals/Guitar) with help from Dave (Drums)

Bonus Questions/ Feature coordinator: Shawn Abnoxious


(BONUS) Explain the band name... It's unconventional. What's the story behind it?
     Our original bass player, Todd, came up with the name. He felt it represented the attitude we were trying to express. Todd, his wife Laura, my girlfriend Sarah, and myself and sometimes other people would hang out and drink a couple times a week. We seemed to create a special atmosphere amongst ourselves at my house, as many groups of friends must feel. Todd and I talked about starting a band for over a year, talking about how we wanted to bring the feeling of a "party at Eli and Sarah's house" to the masses (or at least one mass). Our original concept was to get as wasted as possible and just have fun, writing the simplest possible songs and maybe not even having it together enough to get through any. Our long-term goal was to play one house party/show. Eventually we asked Dave to play drums with us. It had been 5 years since Todd had played a stringed instrument-back in our days together in Duggout, I had never sang for a band before and it had been 5 years or so since Dave had played drums-back in Beel Jak, so we were all on equally shaky footing.

FALLING
     "find your way through the field of mind upon mind
     into the eye of the hurricane singularity"


The original lyrics to falling were about going to the ATM, depositing my paycheck and discovering that even after putting $300 dollars or so in my account, I was somehow overdrawn. It seems the darlings at 5/3rd charged my $4.50 monthly service fee when I only had $4 in my account. The ensuing fees added up to a shitload. If you go to 5/3rd with a problem, they tell you that you're an idiot and tough luck. I could write a book about the problems I had with that bank. Don't bank there. Once the original lyrics were finished however, I didn't like the fact that it was all about me being fucked over and powerless, so I turned to the good old journals. The final version of the song ended up being reworkings of scribblings from various cough syrup/weed/beer/Flexxx experiences. Basically trip notes of observations from altered states of consciousness. I wanted there to be a death/rebirth feeling to it but looking back on it, it reads more negative than I intended. It was supposed to show the journey of being completely crushed out of existence but coming out of that to an expansion to a union with the "ultimate".  In various books about psychedelic mind-states I have read descriptions of similar experiences by different people. Although I can't explain precisely what it all "means," it's clues to something that I passionately wanted myself to know. Also-from here on out-any references I make to drugs are just me being totally honest. It would be kind of weird if I just thought of this shit on the bus or while watching t.v. On every page of my notebooks with psychedelic epiphanies, there are also desperate messages to myself saying: "Don't do drugs ever again! You don't need them!" ...Just so you don't get the impression that I'm like: "Oh yay, drugs rule!"

DEMONS
    
"can’t fight the demons- you always lose
     you can’t outrun them- the demon is you"

Speaking of drugs... Demons is about feeling like the world is a giant fucked up ball of shit and that you don't care if the whole thing blows. A common response to this is to fuck yourself up so you don't care anymore. And, like I mentioned above, often when you find yourself cross-eyed, hearing alien voices and scribbling frantically in your notebook, you say to yourself: "Wait! I wasn't supposed to get like this again!" So, it's about giving up on the world and giving in to compulsive behaviors. Sorry I don't have any good easy solutions to this problem but if you ever feel this way, you're not alone.

COLT 45
     "two-door kids get fucked
     mind expired time retired Colt 45"

"We came home and found our son lying dead on his bed from a gunshot wound. He had his ear-buds in and Meeoow Motherfucker was queued up on his iPod, so we called our lawyer." Dave wrote the lyrics to this one. I always picture someone alone and drunk, thinking about bad shit. Colt 45 could be a gun or a malt liquor. To me the song says: "I'm drunk and crying alone and contemplating suicide, but I'm laughing and smiling too, and there's some beer left, so I choose to live." If you're thinking you should kill yourself and decide not to, it makes you feel a lot, lot better. Really.

These lyrics were written after a hard day not only on the job but at home. The lyrics are just some thoughts about how fucked up life can be day to day and how to try to deal/cope with it. It also refers to others and the fucked up things that we see everyday day that happens to
other people too. -Dave (drums)

ALL IS ONE
     "Jimmy went on his end-of-the-world date
     it was the first time in his life that he wasn’t late"

The first verse of All Is One was written a long time ago when I was on a big spiritual kick. The song has it's negative side though 'cuz, hey, that's the kind of guy I am. I like to read about the implications of quantum physics and all that crazy sub-atomic science stuff. From certain scientific and religious perspectives the whole universe is just one solitary "object." This is a hard perspective to maintain on a daily basis. Also, within this single "object," many things are happening. Ram Dass said something to the effect that there aren't holy places or things, that everything is "holy" and that "it's hard to imagine that God takes out the garbage." Yes, even puddles of vomit and nuclear weapons are "part of god" hence our confusion and frustration. The very last part is a fairly obvious rip-off/ode-to Bob Dylan's "Subterranean Homesick Blues." And here, like with the drugs thing, don't take any mention I may make of "god" or any other religious themes as me advocating any beliefs. All religions are maddening, stupid, infuriating, warped, manipulated and wrong. ( I think maybe certain types of Zen and Taoism are OK. but they can be pretty open-ended anyway huh?) "Fuck you Jesus and you too God and all you other bastards!" See, I'm not superstitious, OK?! But anyway, the past is over, the future is uncertain, all you have is the here and now, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, quit hogging the QuickSilver..., etc.

FESTERING JESTER
    
"I can never fucking win everything I do is wrong
     my every breath is a sin"

Who who has been in a relationship with someone for an extended period of time has not felt at some point that your significant other has made it their goal to crush you so completely that you feel guilty for not having killed yourself before you ever met them and inflicted yourself on their life? If you haven't, you need to devote yourself to someone with all your being for several years. (Time passes...) See?!!  Feel it now? Not that this is an irreparable situation. Usually these feelings only last for one drunken evening. Only those who know all your secrets and weaknesses can cut you down to a stump, a shard. But this is also the person you want more than anything to forgive and to forgive you. Yeah, that's cute, but this song is about the part where you're mad as hell... (P.S. Todd wrote the music and lyrics to this as well as the music to "Falling," "Demons," "Colt 45," and "Animals.")

4011
    
"pass the bottle- take a big swig
     wish I could remember all the stupid shit I did"

Cincinnati has had many DIY punk clubs, fun while they last, often a too-brief era that lives on in the memories of those who happened to be there at the time. The Man or the money clench always seems to put the clamps on at the worst times. The Blank Space, Sarah Discharge's back yard, the old Void... 4011 Hamilton Ave. was the address of the final location of the Void (and now the Cincinnati Artist's Warehouse) I wanted this song to be specific to Cincinnati and to a certain time... I had a feeling the Void would one day be a source of reminiscences. This song was written when Todd and I were in the midst of what I can only call a "heavy-drinking phase," even by my standards.  The original drafts were more clear on the meaning of the song. 4011 is about loving small punk clubs where you feel like you're really at a "club." That is, a place where friends with a common interest meet. This song is about the joy of getting extremely drunk with those associates and enjoying what's going on to the point where you are basically in your own version of "Heaven." This song is about the generation gap and suddenly finding yourself on the other side of it, being a young punk kid trying to get drunk and then you find you're almost the oldest person around. But even having been a fairly "advanced " and "bad" teen doesn't insulate you from the shock of talking to teenagers and hearing what their lives are like and the way they think and see things. If you're older (by punk scene standards-which is still pretty young usually) and you get the chance to talk to any teenagers on a "friend" level and not as the "adult," it will blow your mind. Hell, just look at a group of kids and imagine they're doing what you did when you were their age. It's almost impossible.
So this song is about passing the torch-more accurately, the bottle-to the next group. When I'm 45 I may want to go to a cool punk show and hopefully there will be some "old" 30 year-old running a DIY punk club. Be nice to the kids.. remember when you were their age.(I'm realizing why I wrote a song about this and not a fanzine article-I feel like a schmuck!) But! The Problem!!! Okay, several people whom I trust like I trust no other came to me and said that in their opinion I should change these lyrics because they're just a little too fucked up. This was after I had the final draft that's on the CD, not one of the earlier cheesy feel-good versions-although that is still exactly what it is. Alright, this is getting complicated. Bear with me. While I was still struggling with writing the lyrics I was nearly simultaneously struck with an attack of the fuck-everybody-blues and the idea to write it as a TRUE POP/PUNK song. This was when "punk" was breaking on MTV and the radio big time. OK, what is punk? (stereotypically alright?..) Offensiveness, confrontation.. "I got something to say I raped your mother today/ Doesn't matter much to me as long as she spread... I got something to say I killed a baby today/ Doesn't matter much to me as long as it's dead... "How could I write something for a group of people that can listen to lyrics like that without flinching? What will strike a nerve? If you sing about something that obviously isn't true, punks know that you're only being "shocking" and it's like water off a duck's ass. Gotta think about that one. So, what is pop? Thinly veiled degrading sexual innuendo marketed and sold to children. Britney Spears' "I'm a Slave 4 U."  In the background is she whispering: "I wanna have sex with you" or: "I wanna dance next to you?"  Is there a difference? The term "Rock and Roll" itself clearly meant "sex" in the early days. Chuck Berry, "Reelin' and a rockin' /rollin' to the break of dawn.." Hello?!!  "Dance floor" is pop music code for "bed," "dance"="fuck." It didn't matter whether Britney was saying "dance with you" or "have sex with you.'" In pop music terms, they're the same! Look up the lyrics to "I'm a Slave 4 U." 4011 is almost a direct parody of it. So, in the spirit of teen music, rock'n'roll, "Sweet Little Sixteen" and Britney Spears and since I've been told that only teenagers listen to punk, the girl will be 14 instead of 20 years old like in the original version and that will offend people because it'll hit too close to home and they'll think maybe I don't realize that that's fucked. OK, OK,  so far I have established that I am a complete fucking idiot that took an anti-sexist, anti-ageist, hooray-for-punk-let's-keep-the-dream-alive anthem and camouflaged it in pop innuendo so it would give everyone the heebie-jeebies even though the literal lyrics of the song are the true meaning. So, I'm an ass and there are a lot of double-meanings in there even though the surface one was the only one I "intended."  So I made it punk (shocking) by making it poppy. One thing I somewhat hate to admit about this song is that it could be accurately interpreted as a "straight-edge" song. The speaker in the song is drunk before he is approached by the girls, is not thinking clearly, and expresses that, in retrospect, this was a stupid thing to do. But it was a fun time! This contradictory emotion is really the main point of the song. But hey, listen to the song with whatever meaning you want to put to it. Whatever you were thinking, it's probably in there somewhere.   (P.S. I don't even wanna know how confusing that is. I wish Shawn's review of the Punk Rock Prom where he talks about this song was still online 'cuz that was the first time I got confirmation that SOMEBODY freakin' GOT IT. If I could have copy-and-pasted the one or two sentences he had to say, I could have bypassed this whole tiring rant.)

PUSH THE BUTTON
    
"Move carefully from here to there
     Glass half empty or half full?
     I don’t know but I’ll drink it"


...Speaking of quadruple meanings... My original idea for this song was to write a song about sex using war metaphors. I realized I was gonna end up with a Spinal Tap song when I started writing lines about sending missiles into trenches and other such things that Warrant wouldn't even sing. So I scrapped that idea completely and decided to do this one the way I had intended to write all of our lyrics before I actually wrote any. That is: as indecipherable poetry along the lines of Lennon/McCartney/Cobain, although I couldn't pull that off either. I was going for a comprehensive imagery rather than narrative. To preserve some of the integrity and listener-interactive quality, I will provide only clues as to the meanings of some of the more esoteric couplets. . (Honestly, a full explanation would just be too embarrassing...) "Use the green one, hold her down/ She's not going anywhere" is a paraphrase of a few lines of dialogue from the film "The Violation of Aurora Snow." "The young princess has been crowned/ It seems to be a tight fit." has about six meanings, none of which will I explain here. "Count to three and come to me" is an arbitrary dominance command, which if followed will lead to something wonderfully terrible happening to the person obeying. Some lessons cannot be learned. "Try all with all you want to try/ Too much more and you'll go blind..." This is dirty. "Not ready 'til it's wet..."This is also dirty. "Sound of oceans cutting through/closes below and opens above" is another line from my notebooks. A massive dose of cough syrup makes you hear static/the ocean, etc...the refrigerator sounds like a monster... you know. "Eyes of strangers staring in/Peering in to my abyss"... listening to this song, listening to my voice, reading descriptions of what I was thinking when I wrote these songs... gaze into the abyss... "Push the button end it now/ I can't take much more of this" This is dirty and not dirty. The only sex/war metaphor that survived.

ANIMALS
     "might chew off my leg but never admit defeat
     we’re going to disconnect, we are completely wrecked"

This song is a combination of showing a metamorphosis from a subservient position-being a dog-to a transcended place-being human. Credit cards and money in general seem to cause a lot of problems. Dogs and cats don't have to worry about that shit. You'd think humans would have it better. the "When it all comes down..." part is about how despite some people making life suck for other people, they're not going to "get what's coming to them," not in this lifetime anyway. About half the lyrics have to do with being seriously blown. "Sometimes you blow chunks/helps over the hump/coffee acid red" is about how sometimes when you're on Tussin, you feel better after you puke
because before that you feel more fucked up than you want to be. The good thing about puking up cough syrup is it's like pouring yourself out like a glass; and the mixture of coffee, artificially-sweetened cherry-flavored goo and stomach acid actually tastes good.

ALL ARE INSANE
    
"there is nothing here that fits the space I make
     no wait, there’s no space here for the shape I take"


I often can't figure out if I'm crazy or if everybody else is or both. Working at a burrito place and serving lunch to mobs of business people everyday inspired most of the lyrics. I would overhear conversations where people would talk about how awesome they were because they sent so many faxes or made their boss so much money. Meanwhile they would treat me and my co-workers like we were diseased cretins. I had worked lots in customer-service but these cubicle robots just seemed to really think they were the shit. It seemed like they were doing with their own lives what I was doing with the pork in their lunches. The first verse has nothing to do with this because it's several years older. It's translation is a secret for the ages.

CALIGULA'S DAUGHTER
    
"Caligula’s Daughter the girl in black
     leave with her, you’re never coming back"


I wanted to have a song like the classic punk songs that were somewhat tongue-in-cheek odes to dominatrixes and shit like that, like D.I.'s "Pervert Nurse," Red Cross' "S&M Party," or The Misfits' "Vampira" meets "Devil's Whorehouse." The chorus is a pun on the sappy love song thing: "She'll make you cry..." The punch-line is delivered in the back-up vocal-not credited and not on the lyric sheet- that dear Sarah sings: "...And you'll like it!"

NO HOPE OF SURVIVAL
    
"I was one fucked puppy, hurting from the start
     right out of the gate they started trying to break my heart"


This song was written when my old band Fungus reunited back in '97. We only stayed together for 4 practices and never played out again. I normally wouldn't transfer a song from one band to another but I really liked this one and Fungus never played it for anybody. This song is about having a fucked up childhood and discovering too early that adults don't know what the fuck is going on anymore than kids do but pump you full of bullshit to keep you behaved. It's primarily about the negative effects of post traumatic stress disorder. When you spend too much time dealing with unhealthy situations you forget what's normal. If you've ever told a story about something that you experienced that you thought was funny and the people you told it to asked if you'd ever gotten therapy to help deal with the effects of having gone through such a thing, and you think: "It's a good thing I didn't tell them the sad story," this song's for you. "No hope of survival" means having no chance of functioning in normal society and being a well-adjusted person who does what the world expects of them. The phrase came from a note my friend Marc wrote to me in a notebook while we were on Tussin in high school: "Marc and Eli are two fucked puppies with no hope of survival." I originally sang a line from The Door's "Light my fire: "You know that it would be untrue/ you know that I would be a liar/ if I were to say to you girl we couldn't get much higher," instead of the "If I said I didn't love you that would be a lie/ But if you were to follow me, you would surely die" line.  But I didn't want to steal their lyrics and my line fits the song better. It's a play on the desperado, "I'm a loner, a rebel, Doty," kind of mythology. Also in the Troubadour tradition where they started writing about sex but weren't really allowed to, "to die" was code for "to come." They had lines like: "Give me your mouth I want to die." Todd gave me a painting once and across the bottom he wrote "What does not kill us makes us stronger, unless you've been dead since childhood. Amen," so that's where that comes from. Just take a look at a vet with PTSD who survived being in a POW camp and judge the validity of the statement: "what does not kill us makes us stronger." Yeah, right.

WHEN WE GET IT RIGHT
    
"what are we doing? Will we ever get it right?
     things we believe in, are they really worth a fight?
     let ‘em test me... they’re going to feel the sharp bite of my teeth"


I wrote this at the beginning of the war in Iraq or when it was imminent. I just can't believe that the human race can't get it's shit together. People in the future will feel sorry for us-hopefully. In the first verse I was thinking about a female Jesus and the loss of matriarchal values. I think I was on a big Robert Anton Wilson kick at the time, especially his book "Ishtar Rising." Check it out.  The first part of the second verse was inspired by working at UDF where they give you this whole book of regulations you're supposed to know and follow which is fucking impossible. Codes and rules often lead to contradictory commands. Robert Anton Wilson has written a lot about how the people that control the words control their meanings which means they can manipulate the concepts humans can possess and in turn control reality, which is what  "Weaken the meaning of all their words/ and watch it fall,"  is related to. Just look what's happened to the words "freedom," "liberty" and hell, even "punk." "It might seem a little bit drastic but the crunk cannot be contained with elastic," is stolen from a Edward Gorey drawing of some kind of monster with rubber bands around it's feet and arms and head, bearing the caption: "The Crunk is drastic/ It cannot be contained with elastic."

(BONUS) Why Colt 45?
Colt 45 isn't really the album title but serves that purpose out of default. The bottles of Colt 45 were just part of the cover art Sarah designed. It was in the art because of the song and it was in the song because of its dual meaning, gun vs. beer. If we had wanted to pay homage to our favorite beer it would have been: "The Miller Light Chronicles." or "High Life."  And besides, the record company said Wal-Mart wouldn't carry it if we called it "Beating Our Meat On Your Granny's Grave." Our original idea for a title was "Take a Death," which has a negative sound but is really just another way of saying "pass out." Like: "Man, maybe you should pass on this blunt. You look like you 'bout to take a death." We were all about to take a death during the recording-except for Dave who is impervious. Sometimes when you're fucked up and put on some music you can tell if the musicians were twisted or not. I listened to  The Ramone's "Loco Live" once on acid and was like: "I'm destroyed but these guys are puddles-in another dimension. "Sometimes it's annoying when you're 17-sheets-to-the-wind and you put on a record just to hear 4 guys just playing music all sober and intentionally. It's like sober people showing up when you're wasted-a real buzz-kill. Also, since we tend to speed everything up and I tend to get a little more animated when we play live, and since this was for "posterity," I wanted it to have authentic ambiance. The vocals for "Caligula's Daughter" were the only part of the recording that were done sober and that was because by the time I got around to it during the sessions, my throat was destroyed and I was about to take an L. I think during the vocal tracking for the song "Colt 45" Dave jumped out of his chair in fright because he swore he looked over and saw someone else standing there screaming.

NOTE: If you liked what you read, go see Meoow Motherfucker Live. Go buy their CD. If you want your band's CD to appear in STORY BEHIND THE SONG, then the first step is sending it to THE NEUS SUBJEX, but that is not a guarantee... Just a step, so don't get bitchy-Shawn

www.MySpace.com/MeeoowMotherfucker

 

(.1)  R E V I E W S  :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

MINOR DISTURBANCE "Dont Tell Me What Is Right" CD
If the tag conjures up images of Ian MacKaye at the milk bar, think again. Though "Crime," "You Think You're Punk," and the sped-up, mono recording of the DEAD BOYS' "3rd Generation Nation" (shades of the Teen Idles' interpretation of THE STOOGES' "No Fun") could flex their heads on an '82 Dischord comp, most of the others hoist their 12-ouncers of Bud Ice in an aching toast with fellow Nor-easterners LIMECELL and THE WRETCHED ONES.  "Riot" (live from the toilet known as CBGBs) waves the Flag (Black, NOT Anti-) from the Damaged years, while crude readings of the ANGRY SAMOANS' "Lights Out" and the ' Fits' "We Bite" chomp through 100-watt bulbs with ease.
-Gunther 8544
RUN AND HIDE RECORDS P.O. Box 35094 Philadelphia, PA 19128


WUSSY “Funeral Dress” CD
If there’s one label that you’d think that we’d get promo copies for all their releases, it would be this one, but alas, I have a few neighborhood kids that will five finger anything for me in return for 5% of the retail price.  (Leave those price tags intact kids!)  First off, this is one of the finest releases that has come out of Cincinnati proper.  Although it could easily be mistaken as a singer/songwriter type of release, there are plenty of background fuzz guitars (please bring to the forefront next time) and oddball noise driven musical textures to keep my ears pricked up and in the alert position.  The themes of breakup, reconciliation, and breakup, that is very reminiscent of the Thompsons’ “Shoot Out The Lights”, will leave you wondering if Wussy will survive the Shake-it curse to bless us with a follow up release.  If you’re looking for a contemporary musically comparison, Wussy reminds me of BELLE AND SEBASTIAN if Belle and Sebastian were from Hamilton! Ohio.  And they do the weirdest version of an UNDERTONES song that I’ve ever heard!  Don’t mess with the BSA!!  And look…I wrote this whole thing without mentioning the Ass Ponys!  -Andy Brightone
www.ShakeItRecords.com     www.WussyMusic.com

 


MY LATEX BRAIN “Pending Legal Action” CD-EP
This CD is a couple of years old and just now making it's way to The Neus Subjex. What The Hell? I have gone through many of local bands in my day writing for the NSX only now and never in my life thought that we would be getting a INDUSTRIAL CD for review from a local band. This city is flooded with tons of original bands, but this is by far the most creative band I have ever heard. I like it when bands step aside from what everyone else is doing and just play what they want. Cincinnati being one of the most conservative cities has a lot to learn when it comes to bands like MLB. But I guess this could be a joke of some sorts since these guys are actually from our neighboring city of DAYTON. But to say the least, this has got to be on of the most original bands I have heard in quite some time. 9 not so new songs blast out of the speakers, and demands attention from all the fans of this style of Industrial mayhem with not one song dropping the intensity. Go see this band live the next time they come around. -Dave Fishwick
www.MySpace.com/MyLatexBrain     www.MyLatexBrain.us

 

BLUE VELVET “Four Songs” CD-EP
Pretty cool. Pretty instrumental. If yer waiting for some spacey vocals to come in when you least expect it, then your going to be waiting far past the run time of these four songs! I was pretty amazed to see mention of PHILLIP GLASS in the one-sheet for Blue Velvet, that's some pretty obscure shit really... and yeah, I can sort of see it and all... Its a pretty dead-on sort of comparison. I will fully endorse comparisons to (newer) THE EX and somewhat to THE VELVET UNDERGROUND... These four songs were definitely worth a listen and pretty well produced but this release could stand to be a bout three times as long. I see instrumental bands, and their CD’s as soundtracks for a good book or a task where a CD player can be close by, within earshot's range... Ten minutes is just long enough for me to really get into a good book, while taking a pretty big shit with the door open, and then as fast as it started the Four Songs CD is over... Its not in my ability to get up to hit the button to spin the CD again, cause my pants are down; I’m on the shitter and a turd is hanging half out of my ass, so I'm left with JUST a book to read... and no soundtrack! Anyway, pretty cool band. pretty cool songs. Could have been longer but I realize more than anyone, life is a pretty hard fucker. -Shawn Abnoxious
www.PhratryRecords.com



TOYS THAT KILL "Shanked” CD
I have always tried to keep a open mind about how PUNK has changed over the years, but this teeny bopper bullshit has got to go. Why settle for the MTV/radio friendly crap when true PUNK lives beneath the surface like it always has. Toys That Kill have been under the radar producing numerous albums and tons of great hits that has me scratching my head wandering why this band hasn't crossed into the mainstream. Probably cause they own their own label and salute the majors with a middle finger in the air. But this band has definitely got what it takes to be above the radar. When I first started listening to this new CD I immediately thought it was too much like their last effort, “Control the Sun”, but further digging into this I found I was wrong. Some songs have the same structure style, but I wasn't looking deep enough to find that this new material was better than expected. A little less political than “Control the Sun” but equally just as good. The tracks that stand out the most started around track 11, “Liars Hook” then a bit later on with “The Worms Inside” quickly followed by “Sound Check World” (that has a SEAWEED flavor to it) with “31 Year Old Daydream” finishing the album nicely! New songs from veterans of the modern PUNK world has got me excited again on how being independent can still make it's mark in this world. “Shanked” is the new anthem to today's PUNK-ROCK'n ROLL. And I'm sure it wont be the last. Check it out!  Dave Fishwick
RECESS RECORDS  P.O. Box 1666 San Pedro, CA
www.RecessRecords.com     www.ToysThatKill.com


WOLFGANG BANG "What Are You Going To Do?" CD
Japanese faces (from El-Lay) with a German name playing American and British punk-rock.  The RAMONES/PISTOLS emulations presented by Mikk, Hiroshi, and K.C. have enough rolling in the Hey Hey Hey and injecting Elmer's into the nostrils to keep the fan clubs of Weasel, Ben and Peters, Duane sedated for at least twenty minutes.  The line about a backyard BBQ brought back memories of two days ago.  As I was standing with a badminton racket in one hand and a Miller High Life in the other, my buddy Ross blasted Dokken's "Breaking The Chains" at a volume set to stun.  The shuttlecock fell to the ground, but the beer remained in the clutches.  Better to lose a point, lest you unsuccessfully try to make one. -Gunther 8544
www.WolfGangBang.com



DAVID TURBOW “Gold Standard” CD

At the first glance of the artwork on this CD, I immediately thought that someone sent us a karaoke CD. But I wasn't that lucky, David Turbow is another one of those yuppie college professors that likes to make music on the side, and this didn't really agree with me at all. The first song, “Rock Star Daze” is definitely the best song on this 8 song CD. Kind of quirky, and weird at the same time, but I don't see this disc getting passed on to others for the reason that one after another the songs got worse. I could see this as a lesson in music class to inspire kids to make music, but honestly I don't think that there will be a big buzz around this CD. Please try again, and drop the drum machine! -Dave Fishwick



GRIZZLY MAN   DVD

The life and times of Dan Haggerty?  Wrong dude, wrong decade. Had Kurt Cobain undergone detox, taken swimming lessons at the YMCA, and lived to the ripe old age of 46, he might've turned out like the loopy outdoorsman Timothy Treadwell.  Uncomfortable in mainstream society, the subject spent his last thirteen summer vacations amongst grizzly bears in the wilds of Alaska.  Besides escaping, Treadwell's reasons for doing so were to protect the animals and educate the public on the "misunderstood" creatures.  Visits with youngsters and David Letterman proved informative and entertaining.  In October 2003, after completing another successful expedition, Treadwell and an airline worker had a lengthy dispute over a ticket.  His method for coping was a return to the sanctuary of the bears.  Unfortunately, familiar friends such as "Mr. Chocolate" and "Wendy" had gone into hibernation and were replaced by nastier grizzles.  One 28-year-old specimen, identified as "Bear 141," was later blamed for the horrific deaths of Treadwell and his girlfriend (who'd accompanied him on the last two trips).  Events leading up to the  naturalist's final hours form the basis of the documentary.  Director Werner Herzog offers narration and personal insights, but the story is largely told via Treadwell's own lens.  Even though restrictions state that a distance of 100 yards should be kept between him and the bears, the lawbreaker caresses their faces and bathes with them.  Treadwell regards his unnatural environment as Utopian, until he sees the results of cannibalistic slaughter through a grizzly cub's skull.  Male bears sometimes murder their young, so that lactating females can ready themselves for fornication once again.  Unbalance also extends itself to Treadwell.  During the midst of a drought, he recites a prayer to a "Hindu-Buddha floaty thing" in order to "MAKE IT FUCKING RAIN!"  On the move, Treadwell laments his luck with the ladies, makes references to his sexual prowess, and comments how much easier life would be if he were gay.  Later, he detonates dozens of F-bombs toward the accommodating park service, claiming that not enough is being done to shelter the bears from harm.  When Herzog speaks with Treadwell's parents, we learn their child long ago changed his surname to its current handle for "entertainment purposes."  Dad knows Timothy appeared on Love Connection and believes his son finished runner-up for the "Woody" role on Cheers.  Treadwell was never the same after the turndown, according to the father.  Damn you, Charles, Charles, and Burrows. -Gunther 8544
www.GrizzlyManMovie.com

 

(.1) i O N a R T ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
John Haywood... is ready for the attack!
I met John as part of a band that I would come to rave fanatically about, GREEN FORMICA TABLE of which was also a band that ended before its time.... He sang and played guitar for that effort... Then, hanging out after a show one time he approached me and asked if I would feel comfortable if he did a painting of me based on a a picture that he had... I felt honored, but more surprised because I didn't even know he was into art. I told him he could paint whatever he wanted but at that time John ceased just being a cool as fuck guy in a band that were the saviors of a movement yet to be defined, John became an artist to me and from there,  one of the few people that I can say fully inspired me to do more myself... So, this iONart, is a new segment, especially designed for the NSX online experience... Designed to explore the artistic side of the morbid media beast that is The Neus Subjex. Keep an eye on art because when you least expect it, it  will get you in your back with a dull, rusty knife... Always ready for the attack. Look for examples of John's work associated with each NSX update for issue 68. Visit the link to his website at the end of this segment, its where I captured the images for this feature and will continue to for the next segment.

 



UMWA


“This is one the simplest paintings that I have ever done, but for many people it carries alot of weight.  I have never been one to jump on a bunch of political issues and whatnot, but when it comes to coal mining, there are certain things that really touch me about its current state as well as its history.  In case you didn't know, the UMWA on the hat stands for United Mine Workers of America.  My papaw, who practically raised me, was a miner and he belonged to the UMWA.  The coal mining industry is plagued with a history of corruption. Before the establishment of the UMWA, a coal miner's job was at times worse than say working on a chain gang. You really didn't have any say on the work you were to do, and the mining companies didn't have to worry about things like safety.  Now days, you can't work a room without it being inspected for a stable top as well as good air quality.  The UMWA brought about all this.  There was even a time when children went to work in the mines.  My papaw was one of them.  HE quit school when he was in the 6th grade to go in there and work.  I'm actually doing some research on this because I am planning to do a series of paintings that address more mining issues, and I wanted to do a painting of a coal mining child.  Anyway, if you look real close at the miner's lip in my painting you can see some tobacco spit running out.  Something like that doesn't have any real deep meaning, it just seems that every coal minor I've met had a tobacco addiction.  The background looks like a collage of newspapers.  Well in the old days and even into the somewhat recent history, people in Eastern Kentucky, and I'm sure other places as well, used old newspapers as wall paper. But you could say that the collage of newspapers represents Coal Mining's newspaper history. The industry has always been a hot topic of debate. Today in Eastern Kentucky as well as other places in the Appalachian region, Coal Mining continues to dominate the headlines.  We've all by now heard about the accidents in Pennsylvania and Kentucky that have have taken the lives of many coal miners, and as we're learning more about these incidents we're seeing that much of this can be prevented.  The real debate that is going on now is the issue of Mountaintop removal, where a mountain is literally turned into a big crater in order to get at the coal more cheaply than deep mining.  I wouldn't be surprised if a war were to break out down there over this stuff.  But coal mining effects everyone in the country and across the globe.  Right now it's the leading source of energy especially when it comes to electricity.  So when you're surfin' the net or playing rock n roll music, remember that the electricity you're using came from a coal mine.”



SIS CUTTIN MY MAMMAW'S HAIR


“This is a personal painting.  SIS is actually my mom's sister who I called sis, because my mom called her that. In the little town of Martin in East Kentucky, she owned her own beauty shop.  My mom worked across the street in a florist, and I was always around there or the beauty shop. The Beauty Shop was my favorite place to hang out because these women were always goin' on about something.  It's actually not the first Beauty Shop painting I've done. Anyway, my sis specialized in doing these older styles like bee hive looking stuff.  Many of the old ladies there belonged to the Old Regular Baptist Church which made men keep their hair short and women their hair long. These rolled up hairdos were the perfect solution to keep the long hair out of the way. Have you ever wondered what it is that makes old ladies cut their hair short. Or have you even noticed how so many older women are going with the short cut in their old age.  I'd say it has something to do with work, or it does in Eastern Kentucky. I'm sure when you get to being old or whatever, the idea of being attractive to men or whomever is not so much a priority anymore.  So when that long hair gets in your face while you're working in the garden you cut it, but in my Mammaw's case you go with the rolled up in a hairnet do that keeps you and the Old Regulars happy.  But this painting was also therapeutic in that it helped me to deal with my Sis dying of Cancer a couple years ago. You can see that whole Kentucky addiction to tobacco with the cigarettes and ashtray.  My Sis smoked alot. She would even smoke while she cut your hair. One time she burned my ear trying to shuffle the Shears, Comb and Cigarette.  But just like most of my paintings, this is just about something I've encountered somewhere that I thought would make a good painting or has a good story behind it.”

I asked John to retell a verbal story I once heard him tell of a spaceship bike, it was a good one and I hope it's aa memorable to you as it will be to me. He obliged. Here is what he had to say...

“I can't remember what was so funny about building that spaceship bike. But the story is like this, I was a graduate student at the University of Louisville. In the summer of 2003 I was teaching figure drawing and barely getting by.  I was looking for new ways of promoting my art. My friend Scott Scarboro aka Monkey Boy is the organizer of the Kentucky Art Car Weekend that is held in Louisville once a year.  He said he thought I should do an art car.  But at the time I didn't have an automobile that I liked enough to turn it into a monstrosity.  I mean these people with their art cars really put their soul into it.  It's like their car is their main means of expression, and they'll glue anything on it you know.  Well Scott said there might be some people doing art bikes as an alternative to the automobile.  I thought well hey that's more my style you know being the guy who rode a bike everywhere I went.  So I put all this money into getting what I needed to turn my bike into something special.  It wasn't a ton of money, but I was so poor at the time that it was like I was investing my life savings into this thing.  I decided that I would really go all out and build a frame that would attach to my bikes existing frame. Well the most obvious thing was a space cadet Jetsons style thingy majig. I figure that if I built it right it would look like I was hovering down the road in a little hovercraft.  To make a long story short. I used PVC pipe chicken wire, and paper mechay( spelling), and that spray insulation stuff and made a space swampbuggy. I mean it looked like it crawled out of a sewer.  Well the morning of the Parade, see we were all going to be in a parade that started at the Kentucky Museum of Art and Crafts downtown and ended at the midcity mall on Bardstown road, I road that thing from my house all the way to the museum.  People were pointing at me, laughing.  Somebody even gave me a HELL YEAH BUDDY.  So I'm on Main street on my way to the Museum when I stop at a red light.  This is why this story is funny. My wife Kelli was riding along on her bike just in case something happened to the swampbuggy. We were about 10 blocks from the museum stopped at that light when were heard someone behind us go UUHHH.  We turned and looked and there was this crazy drunk looking dude stopped at the light on his bike behind us.  He had his hand in the air and gave me a peace symbol.  It was nine in the morning and I figure he was a crack head or somebody who had laid out all night gettin' wild.  When the light changed we kicked it to get as far in front of him as we could.  I looked back every now and again to see what he was up to and he was pretty much right behind us. The spaceship bike wasn't real fast and it was a freakin' work out to peddle the thing.  Where main street cross second there is a concrete island that comes out to keep the cars going in the right direction and to prevent accidents.  I had gotten about ten Bike lengths ahead of old drunk dude when I came to that island that juts out. So just like anybody would, I steered around it.  But crazy man couldn't take his eyes of my bike and he hit the thing at full speed.  Well we heard a scream, and turned to see him flip over the handle bars and land face first into the asphalt. Well he hit the ground and didn't move.  We stopped and just kind of stood there.  Well seeing as how he was blocking traffic, there began a traffic jam and somebody finally called the paramedics. Somebody yelled from about twenty stories up. They said, "What the hell are you doing your buddy's out cold in the middle of the road."  I just shrugged my shoulder cause I didn't know what to do. But when the Paramedics arrived we were out of there. I have no clue what ever happened to that guy.  But I arrived at the parade ready to go, but as soon as the parade started I was peddling as hard as I could to keep up with everyone and a tire blew out.  But I was determined to ride anyway.  Well the shaking from riding on a flat tire cased all hell to break loose on the frame that held the ship to the bike, and it started coming apart.  So I was fucked.  Lucky for me this girl named Dane, who was late for the parade and driving an all black truck with red rims and the words REDRIM painted on the back picked me up and drove me and my spacebuggy to the rendezvous.  At the mid city mall parking lot I fixed the bike and was able to ride around for a while.  Afterwards, I parked the thing parallel on the street just like any other car.  Well winter comes and it's still sittin' there. And then in the spring the following year I wake up to a garbage truck putting the whole ship, bike, and everything in the back. Well I run outside in time for them to pull the handle down to crush it.  So I stood there and didn't say a word while I saw my Space Swamp Buggy get crushed in the back of the garbage truck.  I only hope there are pictures floating around of the bike somewhere.”

See more:
Haywood Art


(.1) L A S T :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Gorillas are big bread eaters... they like soup.


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::BUT never LEAST
“a bad day at the cannery....”

 


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